I am always very excited on Wednesdays, maybe because it's midweek and things are calmer in my office or because my friends and I sometimes sing at a karaoke bar to ease of tension. I am not a Friday person majorly because most people squander their hard earned money on frivolities and the traffic that accompanies the night is laced with fatigue that can leave one subservient to pain killers all week long.... you can't find me hanging out on Fridays.... NEVER!!!!! Just as I finished ranting about how much I hate going out on Fridays, an email from my 'friend' Tunde popped up and it stated, he wanted me to be his plus one to his friend's birthday dinner... I just sank into my seat, the sad part is, I can't even say NO, this is one friend that I have handed the keys to my heart on a platter even though we aren't official and please don't judge me at least not yet.
It's past two in the afternoon and it just dawned on me that I haven't had anything to eat or drink neither have I checked my phone all day long... this corporate slavery thing is killing o, this my employers though they pay well never give you enough time to enjoy your wealth... I picked up my phone and behold my Actor friend Tracy, whose other part time job is being a fashion junkie had called me 96 times. So I called her back.
I thought you had been kidnapped? I laughed hard and said because you are not on set today, the rest of us should quit our jobs? Well that sounds like a great idea, anyways we all need to hook up, I have informed Hadiza, we'll meet at my place. We are spending next weekend together but before then I have tickets to a show and you both must look smashing as my stylist will cook you both something to grace the red carpet on... (I quickly cut in) Miss planner biko some of us have plans, I have a wedding to attend next weekend. I am coming with you, yipeeeeeeeeeee, Tracy is an excited child, and I sure would need her to laugh me up. Who is getting married she asked? Tunde's sister. Oh your church boyfriend!!!! He hasn't made us official o, I replied. Haaaaaa it's been almost two years Bolàaààaàa!!!!!! Haba now Tracy its just a year and some months old since we got close. Girlfriend you are not a specimen, get yourself out of such nonsense TEST-SHIP. I gotta run,(pause) you are so not going to his sister wedding, I'll Plan something more fun. Love you..
I sat down pondering on Tracy's words, then reality hit me, this Tunde guy definitely doesn't like me that much to wife me or he is into some one else and using me as a second option while giving me the impression, he'll come for me someday without expressly saying it and silly me too, I have been forming listening ear, cooking, visiting but wait ooooo this guy is not anything close to being a Yoruba demon as he encourages me spiritually but... maybe he likes me as his sister but he buys me gifts and takes me out..... ehen even on several occasions he asked me if I can marry someone like him abi was he just asking.... I am confused or am I just the one seeing his kind gestures as an invitation to commitment?????
Tracy got another improtu job, we had to re-fix our sleepover, I met an old friend whose bestie was into me, I was too glad to finally discard Tunde, so I tried to reduce the rate at which I reply his messages and all, so this new catch, is such a devotee and wants marriage But his dress sense is extremely poor, I'll tush him up jare, I consoled myself.. we were hanging out at his place and alas the brother tried to kiss me... goodness lord! How can you profess to hold positions of authority in the church and you want to kiss me, brother chill o I am not even courting you yet. NONSENSE!!!! I picked my bag, blocked his call and that was the end. If I need a kiss, I'll rather meet some hawtly dressed strikingly handsome fella who is a professional at it. Mschew...
In my anger, I called my Hadiza to tell her what just happened and she laughed hard stating I was lucky, her own Muslim friend attempted to rape her in her own sitting room when he came visiting, thank God her over bearing neighbour came to borrow some seasonings as usual. I couldn't believe my ears, what this generation degrading into is appalling. How can you hide under the name of God and cheat fellow humans?
I drove to church for an evening programme and my church bestie left her purse with me to go take a leak and alas her phone rang and Tunde was the caller, I quickly checked her chat with him and realised the same way he checks up on me and throws indirect marriage talks in our chat is the same way he chats with Chioma at first I was mad but then again he's not mine, I might have interpreted to much meaning to his indirect talks and kindness but that's not a reason to pick a fight, I'll just respect myself and keep my distance. No more doing his cooking, laundry, etc. I ain't his momma.
Chioma landed back on her seat and I told her Tunde called she just sighed and said that unserious one, How do you mean I asked? He has been close to almost every girl in this church and yet not dated anyone, talk more of marry, I don't have time to waste biko, he's probably looking for a perfect woman, who has wealth and can meet up to his criterion's. The only good thing is he doesn't bed them even at that I strongly am against misleading friendship. Why dash someone's hope? It's probably just friendship I said, no she argued that's not friendship, making me get vibes that you will be mine, that's not friendship, he is a born again player na, I had to repeat that born again player chai Chiommmma mo, well... a friend of mine calls that sort of thing TEST-SHIP... exactly testship, he's a testship master, I don't blame him, it's the silly girls that give him face I blame. I couldn't smile to that so I just said God save us from all this players in Christian and Muslim forms...
Instagram handle... @Temielsie.
