Life can be a wonder sometimes and can take a very unpredictable turn. Who would have thought I'd be single at this age? Kai. A whole SPEC like me! Hottest girl on the block! Finest girl ever liveth! But Alas all my hours at the gym to keep my hourglass shape in check has not been able to keep a man. Not even my position or mother's celebrity status has helped.
The crazy part of this story is that I'm turning 32. And even though my parents try to be civil and kind when addressing my spinsterhood, they spare no words. To be candid, I feel their pain, my mum is a successful celebrity marriage counselor with thousands of followers. She has helped bring a gazillion people together and help turbulent marriages find peace. But Somehow her beloved daughter is still SINGLE and I'm sure she's low-key worried that'll remain single for life.
I once overheard her say to her friend that she thinks I'm too choosy. Only if she knew how I tried to be nice to these men. But they ain't shit! I have dated poor, broke, rich and wealthy and one constant character trait they all have is lack of self control. And I cannot open my eyes and walk into a marriage that already has a shaky foundation. NEVER!
It's better for me to endure the long sermon of my parents than saying yes to cheating and all sorts of nasty behaviour from "under-developed adults". Even my mother at 62 still gets flowers, respect and all the accolades a good man should give his woman from my dad. Abeg they've set the standard and I'll be damned if I bend to pressure to marry any one below the standard my dad has set.
I remember one time I dated Femi…. I really suffered. This guy showed me shege, he almost ruined me. In fact I was bankrupt because I kept loaning him funds even from my investments and he never paid back. Thank God I received sense and walked out of that sham. That's how I'll have been penniless with all my years of waking up early to catch the staff bus. Abeg o. I'm done with canceling my non-negotiables to be MRS somebody. Till God gives me love like my parents. I'll be here taking myself on fancy dates and investing for my future kids.
For some amazing reason, I decided the best way to avoid my parents on my birthday was to leave super early for work and return very late. This meant I had to drive myself to work. So I can drive myself back very late. All these crazy uber stories have humbled me in recent times. At 5am, I set out, my younger sister had laughed so heartily when I told her my plans and she played along. She'll tell them not to wait up for me for dinner because I'll be having meetings till late.
Two of my friends joined me at this new lounge and we had a blast. I didn't know it was past midnight till my sister called. I jumped into the car and sped off, I turned into our estate and then in less than one minute I heard the most frightening sound ever. … my car had been hit by a drunk.
The man came over apologising and he didn't look drunk, I was too scared to even come down. We exchanged contacts and he promised to fix my bumper and that's how I said bye to the single life. It didn't take long for us to get fond of each other and at one of our meetings. He proposed! And I was too shocked to even say YES!
I know proposals are supposed to usher in beautiful butterfly moments but that wasn't the case for me. Adams is everything I want in a man but he has a child and I'm worried as to how my parents would react to that. Even though, the mother of his child is still very single, her parents are chronic muslims and have said they'll never allow them to be man and wife. So it's not like I'm snatching. I'm just scared that my mum might not see it that way. She frowns at anything that has the semblance of "sidechikism" and I share in her sentiments.
As expected, my house was on fire after the revelation. And the verdict was simple, return the ring to him and search for your own man. My mum said I should put myself in Lekan's baby mama shoes and after some days. I think I understood her point. I explained to Lekan and after plenty of arguments he collected his ring.
I was in my room, wallowing in pain and tears when my sister stormed inside shoving her phone in my face. I could see she was on gistlover's page as tears rolled down her eyes uncontrollably. She screamed SEE, Ebun SEE. Mummy is a side chick. She snatched daddy from her friend 36 years ago. See daddy's first wife and two sons.
I cleaned my eyes well to be sure I wasn't seeing double… in fact my mum was their best lady at their wedding.
Wow…….
