Monday 9 January 2017

WISDOM IN PRACTICE

I told him it was over, that was probably my one thousandth time of singing that to his tympanic membrane, the only thing is that he did not have the time to observe was that the law of 'diminishing returns' had kicked in from the very first time I uttered those words but what could he care? It was just a 'flirtationship' more like a 'crushingship' that had no bearing. I left because I was done waiting for him to come on board and more importantly because I needed us to remain friends, he has some very powerful friends in the advertising industry and I need his connect to keep getting referrals, so I just stopped calling, the only time he remembers I am on planet earth, is when he has some free time and that happens very rarely as he claims his bank job consumes all his time and me too I have decided to get busy. I know he is not cheating but committing to anyone is not on his agenda and the frequent divorce and separation cases that keep springing up, has not helped him at all, the truth is I went into whatever it was we had because we were on the same page, I had dated my ex for a really long time and his 'diamond ring' to me was to date a distant friend, though he apologised and all, I couldn't bring myself to such disrespect, I left, then tried dating again, this time the Uncle involved cheated with a close friend, I picked myself, smiled and ran as fast as I could, then some other dude tried to repeat the same thing then I decided to press pause, smile, eat more cake and focus on more important things. My crush was there to hold my hand and most times he made those moments feel like magic... no promises, no lies, just us, no third parties and most of all no commitments. we could go on for days without any form of communication but when we do ehn our catch up game is strong. I guess I healed but he didn't, I cant wait forever for him to use his brain neither can I ask him out or throw myself at him, I think the hair on my head scream I love him loud enough and if he cannot catch the message........

I am a forensic accountant, I just acquired the forensic title though, my colleague and I were sponsored, we filled company feed back form and indicated we would be glad if the organisation sponsored us and God did it, the CFO approved it and we were the only two that got sponsorship and promoted infact we got a new office and a salary raise, 2016 was the bomb for us and as expected, the other accountants went green with jealousy. I walked into my office on a beautiful Wednesday morning, and behold  a beautiful bunch of roses and this amazing coconut red velvet cake greeted me with an aroma that gave me life, like I received a hug from my Crush.... I knew it wasn't for me, Femi Phillips never thought me worthy of a surprise like this and I am very positive he hasn't even noticed I had left him for good. It was Jane's, my colleague, her boyfriend can gift for Africa, the funny thing is that they had a break in transmission in their relationship that lasted two good years and they are back together like He never left, I for one would never date an ex because I feel they never change, they only become better at the pretence game, you should only date them if you can turn a blind eye to their bad habit but the truth is some bad habits would open the blind eyes wide, never to be close again. We were having the time of our life, eating cake and chatting away, when my phone rang, and the caller was our CFO he had just summoned us to his office, I knew we were in big trouble, why didn't he use the intercom? what have we done? Jane already said we were going to be fired and I believed her.

One of the "jealous'' accountant decided to take his job too seriously and make us look incompetent and uncovered some irregularities in the account, now we are saddled with the responsibility of looking into the accounts from inception and we are looking at fifty something years of financial statements, ledgers and whatever paper has figures on them. The crazy part is that he gave us only two weeks to uncover the fraud and bring the offenders to book. I was very mad and so was Jane, infact I had to move into her house, we barely slept, Femi called on one of those nights, I was extremely glad, I could use his voice to ease the stress, Jane wanted me to tell him how much I missed him but I did no such thing, he did not even notice, I had given us some space well there was no 'us' so know hard feelings, he informed me his friends in the advertising circle want to meet me in person as there was a high chance they could employ me as their model, I thanked him for the opportunity and fixed a meeting on Saturday evening. Amazing events had began to occur at work, the most senior accountant had resigned and I wondered why management would even accept his resignation at this crucial time when an investigation is on-going?

It was Femi' O'clock and I met him at the address sent, met his friends, they seemed nice and were on board with working with me, they wanted me to hire a manager so I do not feel cheated after signing the contract and I told them, I was quite familiar with these kind of contracts, it was not my first job, I realised Femi had been quite so I turned to find out if he dropped off planet earth and to my greatest surprise he was on his knees with a sliver shinning ring the exact picture of some ring we saw some point in time when we were surfing the web. I was shocked, I did not see this coming, I spilled my drink, I cried and laughed at the same time, he was still on his knees, then his friends were taking pictures. so I pulled him up and hugged him, the whole advertising job thing was a plan, his friends left us to have our "we time" and I carefully pulled the ring off my finger and gave it back to him. My heart was racing but I found strength to tell him how I couldn't be with someone who is emotionally unavailable, the only reason you put this ring on my finger is not because you want to build an empire with me but because you .......... I paused looked at him and said Femi you need fixing and there is no way in the world. I'll walk down the aisle with you when I know I would never be priority with you. It took almost seven months of me not calling you before you realise I left and instead of you to apologise and let us talk about how to start right, you throw a ring I like at me and you expect that to fix us. It won't and well my taste has changed, but you are to busy being a banker to know what I really like. I walked out feeling good, for the first time in my life I was logical and not emotional, naaa, I have been a logical person since jor how else do I explain, how I walked out of previous relationships. I really should give myself some more credit... I really should.

Jane was mad, very mad, she could almost kill me for walking out on Femi, she said he would change and all, I just kept on looking at the books of account, while she blabbed on, I don't believe in putting the cart before the horse, It always comes back to bite hard!!!! I put all my energy into finding the errors, I barely ate, I was hurting but I was glad I had closed the Femi chapter of my life and was more determined to unravel this fraud mystery, I had become an accountant because I wanted to channel my hurt into something challenging, I aced all my ACCA exams in flying colours, God sure compensated me for my hurt, my undergraduate programme was in business administration but somehow Jesus did it and I am now a chartered forensic accountant. I saw the ex the other day and he was nothing to write home about, I never thought a day would come that I would be grateful 'he broke my heart' but it did.
    
I unravelled the fraud, the money was being paid to an account for some unexplained service, Jane looked up the company and realised the company was owned by our CFO's brother, the company is using this medium to evade tax and yet our CFO spends a great deal of energy insulting the government for not providing social amenities, I wonder where the government is supposed to get money to provide that, when rich people like him evade tax. Jane also discovered we had unexplained increase in revenue without a proportionate increase in production or services, so we think the CFO has been increasing profit with the funds diverted to his brother's account. we were in the dark as to why, he would put us into all this stress only to expose him. then we realised his brother had betrayed him, so he could know longer increase revenue, hence our profits were declining. we were confused on how to report the issue, or how can we tell a thief, that the thief has stolen and expect the thief to congratulate us or did he want to find out if we knew his secret? we showed him we were smarter, we traced the missing figures the other "jealous accountant'' discovered to omission of depreciation of some items and it was perfect, we also spotted some errors like wrong class of account. we stated that the reason for dwindling profits was partly due to use of obsolescence in machines, lack of invention of new products and poor advertisement.

He congratulated Jane and I for a job well done, what he did not know was that we had sent out our resumes and we were job haunting already as we would not be a part of an organisation that had reached her end. I had already attended two interviews and Jane had already turned in her resignation letter, she would be relocating to the United Kingdom with her boo as he already got a job there. I got home one rainy Monday evening and met Femi at my door, this time he brought flowers, I let him in and the words that fell from his mouth landed me in shock Island. I am a father, Cynthia..... and I couldn't commit to you or let you into my life because my son is dying of sickle cell, that's where I spend my midnights and evening, his mum thought she was AA, that was an error a crazy one, the doctor made, the sad part is I am the only one paying for it as her parents had sent her abroad after she gave birth and left my family and I to deal with the pain. I am sorry, I did not tell you, I tried to... but that was the day we had that conversation about women that married men that had kids and you made it clear you couldn't, you were very emphatic with your words... you said it was a deal breaker for you. I wasn't ready to loose you and I still am not. I just slid into the chair and my fingers gave way for the flowers to kiss the ground.........








Tuesday 3 January 2017

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