Saturday 29 April 2017

"Baby Girl"

Is this even life? Every blessed day I’m always trying to get home early but it seems I signed a pact with 9 o’clock and my desk, I just wonder how I get to tie myself with some never ending bank duties on a daily basis, well, I know I love my job, if anything I hate being idle or how else do you explain my entrepreneurial spirit. I own two shops on the island and run an active online store, in summary I think I just love to make money or how else do I keep slaying but today I am going to live the ‘baby girl” lifestyle. You heard me right? “BABY GIRL LIFESTYLE” I had mapped out a plan, a very perfect one. I applied a very light make – up and used an eye shadow that would give me the pale look, I took my lashes out, wore a short wig and threw on a simple dark gown, nothing too clingy but still a statement piece. I wasn’t my regular ‘happy go Lucky’ self. When asked what was wrong by my female boss, I yelled ‘MP’. Trust me they were all stunned because all my years of working with them, I had never complained of such, suddenly everyone became nice, I now understood why women use that card. I sincerely am not one to make such announcement to the world,  I sincerely feel if we are clamouring for gender equality, then we should act the part, anyway I had my mind set to leave by four, to my greatest surprise my direct boss forced me to get some rest by three pm, my heart was jumping for joy, I packed my bags and home I landed.

I had a line of “functivities” for the evening, dinner at this ‘awesometastic” hotel that only the creme de la creme of the society are allowed entrance and even if I wore my million dollar outfit and faked I belonged to that class, I sincerely doubt my account balance will survive the withdrawal. Damilola Williams, my hot chocolates (Niyi’s) bestie was celebrating his birthday in grand style, we were going to wrap the night club hopping. It’s been ages I partied hard, I was determined to rock the night. I know he had this one girl–friend but many side-chicks, they all wanted a share of his money but for some crazy reason my mind kept saying he would put a ring on her, i’ll love to see how Onyinye the chief sidechick would react to this, my camera is on video mode ready to record her foolery.

As expected dinner was too on point, I barely heard what Niyi was saying to me, kai, I used scope to see the bill when we were done, that money is enough to open another outlet in banana island, baba God biko shower me with wealth. We got partying and as the queen of twerking that I am, I was on the table, digging it all the way, I started hearing some kind of noise but it’s a club, so I con-ti-nued, then it followed by claps, my heart then said Damilola is proposing, as I turned to feed my eyes, I saw Niyi on his knees with a ring that yelled class, I got down, cried a bit, said YES, took pictures and just sat down looking into his eyes. He had no clue he had just ruined my night...............

Niyi and I have been dating for almost five years, but marriage is not exactly my thing, at least not now, I need to make money, p-l-e-n-t –y of it, I was hoping we could just be together and he’ll not want to commit, really I know I can’t give any man a 100 percent, i’ll rather be a second wife my religion permits it, that way I can focus on my career, business and not bother about having kids. I don’t have strength for all that babysitting one man, all in the name of marriage, I ain’t his mama!. We got into our hotel room by 5 am, I simply wrote the longest letter of my life, dropped the ring and headed out before he woke up. As usual the next couple of weeks was laced with drama , he had called up everyone that could speak to me but I didn’t want any thing serious. I took my annual leave early and off to London I was, I needed some chilled air, marriage is not by force, let no one force me to start what I cannot finish. This baby girl lifestyle I want to live it to the fullest, I can’t afford any thing to tie me down, there’s no how i’ll be married to a single man and he’ll  allow me work all week and slay all weekends, even if he does, nosy family members would want to hinder my greatness.

Otunba Martins made my trip amazing, we met at Heathrow, he had come to pick up his cousin, we had fun times, I totally forgot all my sorrows, Niyi on the other hand kept disturbing my parents with visits, I had to explain to Otunba and my London crew what had transpired when his incessant calls kept spoiling the fun, I myself could not believe my ears when Otunba asked me to marry him just to keep him off, I quickly jumped on his boat, I had nothing to loose, I became his third wife, my parents reluctantly agreed and my career and business began booming. I went on to do an MBA, I did feel bad for Niyi though but hey this is the life I had always wanted, I have chefs, freedom, a large house and some nagging women and plenty of cash. He can’t give me that. Otunba’s wives are not the regular kind of yoruba women, they never quarrel, they are always laughing, they both have two girls, the only time they nag is when our husband is not paying them attention, I on the other hand am too busy to be forming any squad, they do nothing but travel round the world, add weight and run to the gym.

I was on the way to a friends wedding, when I suddenly slipped on the staircase and fainted, nine


months later I gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl, one of Otunba’s wife also gave birth to a boy at that time but she lost the child, so we were kind of in the mourning laced with happy mood, I was resting my lids in the study when my two senior wives began talking in low tunes, I heard them correctly, they shocked my destiny, they said something about switching one of my babies to a girl whilst in my womb and how they regret their action since her child died, hmm I knew the scan said I was having two boys but hey this people don’t look diabolical, my heart started pounding as soon as they left I found myself on a bike, to my father’s house, then it occurred to me, I left my kids and belonging,  I hurried back, Otunba’s was home but this was his resting time, we dared not disturb him but I had to tell him what I just heard and inform him I was leaving, I opened the door and alas, I found him drinking blood from a calabash while placing his hand on what seemed like a human skull. I simply just passed out....  

IG HANDLE:@Temielsie                      
 

Friday 14 April 2017

THE TARA GLOW

Securing a job in Lagos is quite difficult, scrap that “quite”. It’s extremely difficult, growing up is not fun, I wish I could be a child forever.... my friend Toye laughed out loud as she watched me nag. On a brighter note, she had invited me for her friends wedding on the condition that I had to slay, as we tried to get ready, a message popped on my phone informing me, I was not among the selected applicants for a job, I had hoped to get, I just sunk in my chair and wept my eyes sore, my friend had no choice but to pet me like a child whose mum had just thrashed angrily. I even suggested not going but she will hear of no such thing.

Toye Is one of the strongest women I know, she is the president of turning bad situation into testimonies. I call her “Pepper dem Mama”. She sat me down and brought out the TA 45 powder she got me as a birthday gift, she got me a complete make up set, I remember her telling me she wants me to become an “orekelewa” ambassador and I had told her when I land a good job, I”ll take her advice. I looked like a queen, when she was done, I couldn’t believe she had not applied any foundation on my face, just Tara (45) powder and I had turned into a flawless being, she added class by applying Tara’s High Shine Lip stain and blusher for the “pepper dem look”. I over took pictures before stepping out and of course Toye was smoking hot, she used “funke” Tara’s red lipstick to pop up the well blended Tara”s trio eye shadow, she had applied on both our faces. We were transformed into “omoge”s by the time the blusher landed on our cheeks, I just prayed that the groom doesn’t mistake us for the bride.

The party was fun, plenty to eat and drink and as expected we had more admirers, mostly females everyone wanted to know, what product? they were stunned it was a made in Nigeria product. It was time for the “boogie down section” when the elder sister of the bride beckoned at us to help monitor the new drinks brought in by the grooms friend at the car pack before the servers cart away with it, a few other of the brides friend joined us and we got chatting when suddenly a heavy down pour began, the shocking thing was that, the girls that had foreign brands on, had their make up washed up but
Toye and I remained as flawless as ever, they were quick to run to the rest room and re-apply their make up. Two of the girls asked me to help them get a complete set of the Tara’s product and as a sharp girl I added my own Commission.

As the event wrapped up, a woman in her early fifties worked up to me, she admired my look, we got talking and I realised, she was the head of human resources of a multi national firm, I supplied her Tara products and after some private interview basically for documentation purposes. I landed a job bigger than my resume.... I’m grateful to God for my happy ending and of course I took Toye’s advice.

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