Imagine the freaking hypocrisy? Can Nigerians just pause for a bit and deep think this bbnaija ish, before they start throwing jabs. You’ll realise it’s a reflection of our society but “mbanu” we have to play holier than thou because we are afraid to admit we too, kiss on our first date. Even my friend Tobiloba who’s currently shagging her friends father is forming moral compass on her whatsapp status. Let me just drop this phone before I cast her this evening.
Eno sef dey call person “opportunist”(laughs) this must be a joke. E-n-o same Eno that you must reward either financially or service wise if she runs a favour. Let me drop this phone abeg, I’m not about to subscribe to this bi-polar shenanigans my people are pulling on WhatsApp. This Bola wey make life difficult for me all through last year sef dey form say person get bad character... weh done sir! Go and audition next year, let’s see if you’ll survive one week without twitter dragging your parents for not raising you well.
My mother’s text interrupts my surfing bliss and of course... oh wait! It’s not her usual bants about getting a second degree. OMG! My cousin intro! Wawu! Daisy is getting married. Wow! I’m so glad, at least her parents can let her breathe in peace now. Chai! Daisy has suffered in their hands. Imagine being the first girl of 4 and all your younger siblings have kids in their husbands home. While you’re there just rocking your single life in torments. Aunty don *God when* taya for my ear. Let me go and pick out a statement dress for this beautiful occasion, destiny may find me there. Hmmm I think I’m happy with bae abeg. Our craze blend! But Daisy nor try sha, she did not even deem it fit to call me and gist me about our in-law and na me be her *consoler general* o. She see man na, she ex my side. I go call am..........
I couldn’t stop thinking about my conversation with Daisy and of-course my heart beat. He’s probably right, she’s hiding something. That’s the only reason she has been keeping her distance and forming busy. Abi is she pregnant? Ehn even if she is, I’ll not condemn her, even Jesus condemns no one. I just hope this her husband is not one of those shady men. It’ll be horrible for her to have waited for this long, only to end up with the wrong one. God forbid her experience pain in marriage after all that emotional abuse she had to endure at her parents all because she had no suitor. Nigerian Parents ehn! God will help them and this marriage matter. I think what strikes me most is that, some of these parents, especially mothers are freaking unhappy in their homes and if they could reverse the hands of time, they would have focused on their careers and married men who they wanted but yet they keep forcing marriage on women as if it’s some sort of reward for living. Sigh biko let me go n prepare for my onboarding task tomorrow before my boss would ask me to fire myself.
My mother almost made me bring bae, just in a bid to tell the world that her daughter is quarter to marry, I nor gree. First, even though bae and I are great, he has not popped the question yet. I cannot start forming wife, when I’m just a girl friend. I might even meet an eligible bachelor ready to commit, I wouldn’t want to ruin my chances... mbanu. Bae was even ranting on why he should come with us, I just hushed him up with the *Alaye jor jor* slang. He should use his common sense to know, that to attend family functions with me, I gotta see a shinny studded sliver circle on the appropriate finger.
Fred!!! Wait! Fred is Daisy’s man!!!! Tufiakwa! I was so uneasy all through the ceremony. I couldn’t wait for it to end. Men are wicked????? Ha! How can he even be so cruel? Bae has almost killed my phone with calls and messages reminding me about the ethics of my profession. Ethics kwa? He has asked me to remain calm and be diplomatic in my approach. But abeg na my family she be, I don’t freaking care, if CIPM like make dem collect my certificate. This wedding will not hold and I’ll bring out hard core evidence. How can be HIV positive and he’ll want to marry my cousin. O lord, I just hope they’ve not been making out. If only her parents were more lenient, she would have taken her time to study the bastard.
I went straight to my cousin, Fred was trying to form familiarity but trust me, my eye balls gave him all the response he needed. He’s HIV positive Daisy, I have his files, you cannot marry him. Ill bring you evidence, I’ll print his medical report on Monday and....... she cut me short and whispered into my ears. It’s a contract marriage! Don’t fret! I just need this people off my back and even if I get infected, I honestly don’t care. I’ll use their anti-retro viral drugs to control it. All I want is to be married at-least, so my own immediate family can accept me. Tears roll down her eyes.
