Tuesday, 3 January 2017
TIME OUT WITH ELSIE: Medical Drama 2
TIME OUT WITH ELSIE: Medical Drama 2: CONTINUED FROM THE LAST BLOG POST...... I slowly looked through Cynthia's pictures and there my husband was in sixty percent of them, ...
Tuesday, 13 December 2016
Medical Drama 2
CONTINUED FROM THE LAST BLOG POST......
I slowly looked through Cynthia's pictures and there my husband was in sixty percent of them, infact they have more pictures together than we do and from the look of things she's one of those, my husband chose me over, the sad part is, I only got the ring, this Cynthia woman seems to have his heart, and even the children that I carried in my own womb, how can he name my girls after her? Akinola must be damn right MAD!!!!!!!!!!! how dare him? It's crazy enough that he is a sweet cheat, because up until now I thought the idiot was a saint, I bless God for him everyday, not even a simply trace of his adulterous self and yet he goes to church lifting unholy and cursed hands to God.....ha. AKINOLA A GBA....... (this means I will deal with him).
I packed my things and head straight home but not before opening another facebook account and sending my husband's mistress a friend request, she accepted and I began my full time job of stalking her. I need to get more evidence because his parents and our pastor must be informed, and divorcing him doesn't seem like a no go area because I am deeply wounded. I do not give a flying hoot about what the world would say, all I know is no man would turn me into a fool, I must let the world know that Akinola is just a pretender and to think we are both marriage counsellors in church.... I don't even which one of his offences is hitting me hard, the fact that he is a cheat or the name part. The media is right, men are devils and those of us married to the Yoruba clan might be harbouring demons in our lives, I went to my kitchen made food and added plenty of pepper to his portion. In less than an hour, he was back but he just came home to pack a few things, he had to travel for a business meeting in Enugu, this was not unusual but my already burning self would not let me do my duties as a wife, he called when he got to his hotel room and I managed to say a few wifely words.
Being a detective is not an easy job but I was learning fast, I had to catch up on Cynthia's old post as I got busy with work and all, we had a major surgery and to God be the glory it was successful, Tracy was still bitter but she managed to loosen up a bit after the surgery, my investigative self found out that my darling husband and Cynthia were in the same location, her brother was getting married and my husband attended, though he ran it by me when he called in the evening, he just did not mention the fact his so called friend was a blast from the past.....and this is the man I call my own. I must be crowned the queen of all naive women. I cried my eyes out even my colleagues knew something was wrong, I was forced to confide in Tracy and that's something I would never have done, no offence I think her reasoning ability had packed a long time ago but here I was shattered, my husband was my best friend, how could I have confided in him, when he is the reason for my tears. Tracy was shocked and offered to help, she found out she had common friends with Cynthia, facebook makes that very easy and in a matter of days, I was informed that my husband and Cynthia were once engaged to be married and they had never stopped being friends, some are of the opinion that they are still lovers and might elope soon, that information eliminated whatever love I had for my husband and I found myself googling incognito the names of the best divorce lawyers, I could afford.... Isn't life crazy!!! I used to be against divorce now I am seriously searching for it.
My husband got back and I treated him to an amazing meal, he collapsed after eating the very first portion, I quickly flushed down the remaining, washed the plate and then staged a new plate of food with a cut in the pounded yam that looked like the portion he swallowed before screaming for help from the neighbours, he was eventually rushed to the hospital. The doctor told me he would be fine but it might take a while because his blood pressure was high and his tongue had been injured badly. I looked at him on the bed, he looked almost lifeless, I became scared of myself, I...I had become a dangerous and bitter woman, I successfully poured a big bowl of salt into the portion of stew my husband ate from because I wanted revenge, what if he had died? what is wrong with me? what happened to the forgiveness I preach? How did I even get to this place of anger and murder?
I cried beside my husband bed, like a child who had been asked to repeat the term, the nurse had to drag me away and comforted me saying he would be fine, unknown to her, I caused myself the pain I now feel.
Sleep was a luxury I could not afford, I wondered why divorce was the first thing that came to my mind, why I did not think about talking to my husband? why I did not even talk to God about it and why I chose Tracy? well maybe I knew she would give me what I wanted to hear, I search google incognito so that just incase my husband develops complications from my already conceived plans the police would find nothing on me when they start snooping. I still wanted a divorce though but this time I was sorry for my actions, I remember during one of my counselling meeting with a troubled couple, I asked them why they got married and it led them to tears, it was my turn to answer that question and instead of tears, it led me into a state of confusion. I was rounding up my National youth service programme, when my I met my husband, we dated for almost nineteen months and we got married. I got married because I wanted kids and it was the next step in my life, the society tells us that after university and a job, marriage is the next point of call and I heeded it. little wonder I was quick to jump on the divorce train when a little challenge came to play, after all the society does not exactly preach patience in marital matters.
My husband got well and I decided to do what was right, I confronted him and he let me in, Cynthia was his ex, the attraction to her was the name, he had an aunt who died while he was young, her name was Cynthia and Hannah, the exact names his ex had on her birth certificate,he had promised to name his children after her because she had no offspring of her own, they were engaged to be married and it was after the introduction that they discovered they were both AS and they had no choice but to cancel the wedding. Cynthia acted all fine till she decided to slit her wrist after her new boyfriend impregnated another woman, my husband was called to help talk to her, the visits and hangouts were mere friendly visit, he was scared to tell me because he knew I might not approve of it. He apologised and I felt very ashamed of myself. I was quick to run out of the window when it was time to take the marital test, the society is quick to make us believe we are fools for taking the forgiveness lane but be rest assured that the society is as confused as the one facing the problem, I also got to realise the reason why divorce has become a norm is because we marry for wrong reasons. I married because I wanted kids and it was the next thing to do after getting after-all that's what the society tell us and alas when the storm came I was quick to head out because I had kids already. I knew I had to go back to the drawing board and re sketch my drawing. I am just glad we were able to mend our cracked walls without leaving a dent.
The news that greeted me on Monday at work was one worthy of cinema viewing, Bassey had not only impregnated Damola but also impregnated Tracy( after the embarrassment he gave her, some months back, this girl still went back to him) and to crown it up he impregnated my medical director's seventeen year old daughter. My medical director gave him the beating of his life and got his army friends to lock him up in a cell, only to find out that Bassey was a product of his illicit affair while he was serving in Calabar, many years ago.........
I slowly looked through Cynthia's pictures and there my husband was in sixty percent of them, infact they have more pictures together than we do and from the look of things she's one of those, my husband chose me over, the sad part is, I only got the ring, this Cynthia woman seems to have his heart, and even the children that I carried in my own womb, how can he name my girls after her? Akinola must be damn right MAD!!!!!!!!!!! how dare him? It's crazy enough that he is a sweet cheat, because up until now I thought the idiot was a saint, I bless God for him everyday, not even a simply trace of his adulterous self and yet he goes to church lifting unholy and cursed hands to God.....ha. AKINOLA A GBA....... (this means I will deal with him).
I packed my things and head straight home but not before opening another facebook account and sending my husband's mistress a friend request, she accepted and I began my full time job of stalking her. I need to get more evidence because his parents and our pastor must be informed, and divorcing him doesn't seem like a no go area because I am deeply wounded. I do not give a flying hoot about what the world would say, all I know is no man would turn me into a fool, I must let the world know that Akinola is just a pretender and to think we are both marriage counsellors in church.... I don't even which one of his offences is hitting me hard, the fact that he is a cheat or the name part. The media is right, men are devils and those of us married to the Yoruba clan might be harbouring demons in our lives, I went to my kitchen made food and added plenty of pepper to his portion. In less than an hour, he was back but he just came home to pack a few things, he had to travel for a business meeting in Enugu, this was not unusual but my already burning self would not let me do my duties as a wife, he called when he got to his hotel room and I managed to say a few wifely words.
Being a detective is not an easy job but I was learning fast, I had to catch up on Cynthia's old post as I got busy with work and all, we had a major surgery and to God be the glory it was successful, Tracy was still bitter but she managed to loosen up a bit after the surgery, my investigative self found out that my darling husband and Cynthia were in the same location, her brother was getting married and my husband attended, though he ran it by me when he called in the evening, he just did not mention the fact his so called friend was a blast from the past.....and this is the man I call my own. I must be crowned the queen of all naive women. I cried my eyes out even my colleagues knew something was wrong, I was forced to confide in Tracy and that's something I would never have done, no offence I think her reasoning ability had packed a long time ago but here I was shattered, my husband was my best friend, how could I have confided in him, when he is the reason for my tears. Tracy was shocked and offered to help, she found out she had common friends with Cynthia, facebook makes that very easy and in a matter of days, I was informed that my husband and Cynthia were once engaged to be married and they had never stopped being friends, some are of the opinion that they are still lovers and might elope soon, that information eliminated whatever love I had for my husband and I found myself googling incognito the names of the best divorce lawyers, I could afford.... Isn't life crazy!!! I used to be against divorce now I am seriously searching for it.
My husband got back and I treated him to an amazing meal, he collapsed after eating the very first portion, I quickly flushed down the remaining, washed the plate and then staged a new plate of food with a cut in the pounded yam that looked like the portion he swallowed before screaming for help from the neighbours, he was eventually rushed to the hospital. The doctor told me he would be fine but it might take a while because his blood pressure was high and his tongue had been injured badly. I looked at him on the bed, he looked almost lifeless, I became scared of myself, I...I had become a dangerous and bitter woman, I successfully poured a big bowl of salt into the portion of stew my husband ate from because I wanted revenge, what if he had died? what is wrong with me? what happened to the forgiveness I preach? How did I even get to this place of anger and murder?
I cried beside my husband bed, like a child who had been asked to repeat the term, the nurse had to drag me away and comforted me saying he would be fine, unknown to her, I caused myself the pain I now feel.
Sleep was a luxury I could not afford, I wondered why divorce was the first thing that came to my mind, why I did not think about talking to my husband? why I did not even talk to God about it and why I chose Tracy? well maybe I knew she would give me what I wanted to hear, I search google incognito so that just incase my husband develops complications from my already conceived plans the police would find nothing on me when they start snooping. I still wanted a divorce though but this time I was sorry for my actions, I remember during one of my counselling meeting with a troubled couple, I asked them why they got married and it led them to tears, it was my turn to answer that question and instead of tears, it led me into a state of confusion. I was rounding up my National youth service programme, when my I met my husband, we dated for almost nineteen months and we got married. I got married because I wanted kids and it was the next step in my life, the society tells us that after university and a job, marriage is the next point of call and I heeded it. little wonder I was quick to jump on the divorce train when a little challenge came to play, after all the society does not exactly preach patience in marital matters.
My husband got well and I decided to do what was right, I confronted him and he let me in, Cynthia was his ex, the attraction to her was the name, he had an aunt who died while he was young, her name was Cynthia and Hannah, the exact names his ex had on her birth certificate,he had promised to name his children after her because she had no offspring of her own, they were engaged to be married and it was after the introduction that they discovered they were both AS and they had no choice but to cancel the wedding. Cynthia acted all fine till she decided to slit her wrist after her new boyfriend impregnated another woman, my husband was called to help talk to her, the visits and hangouts were mere friendly visit, he was scared to tell me because he knew I might not approve of it. He apologised and I felt very ashamed of myself. I was quick to run out of the window when it was time to take the marital test, the society is quick to make us believe we are fools for taking the forgiveness lane but be rest assured that the society is as confused as the one facing the problem, I also got to realise the reason why divorce has become a norm is because we marry for wrong reasons. I married because I wanted kids and it was the next thing to do after getting after-all that's what the society tell us and alas when the storm came I was quick to head out because I had kids already. I knew I had to go back to the drawing board and re sketch my drawing. I am just glad we were able to mend our cracked walls without leaving a dent.
The news that greeted me on Monday at work was one worthy of cinema viewing, Bassey had not only impregnated Damola but also impregnated Tracy( after the embarrassment he gave her, some months back, this girl still went back to him) and to crown it up he impregnated my medical director's seventeen year old daughter. My medical director gave him the beating of his life and got his army friends to lock him up in a cell, only to find out that Bassey was a product of his illicit affair while he was serving in Calabar, many years ago.........
Thursday, 10 November 2016
MEDICAL DRAMA
I had barely even balanced on my chair before this Dr. Seun of a man shoved his aso-ebi in my face, what is this one for I asked as I unwrapped the material, its actually my favourite colour, g-o-o-d-n-e-s-s!!!!!!!!!!! my heart knew I was surely buying this one, even though it meant my husband and I would have to speak small Spanish, my woman power must definitely come to play to win this battle considering we just had to settle school fees, family issues, small shopping for ourselves and the rent, buying anything should not even be on my mind, but this material is screaming my name and I have already answered. I had already thought about the style and the matching shoe and bag mehn!!! Bella Naija must notice my picture on Instagram. Dr Seun's voice brought me back to reality when he answered and said, it's for my wedding.... I paused, dropped the material, gave him a long look, when I realised, he looked serious then I stood and asked. Are you remarrying your wife? I mean Lola the mother of your two children? he said No. then I packed the dress handed it back to him and gave him a piece of my mind. so Seun after she caught you in bed with another woman, the best way to mend the crack in your wall is by marrying another?????????????? who is even the pastor or Imam joining you both, please I cannot attend such, Seun whispered something that sounded like Lola was too diffcult. Life is difficult too, every aspect of life, from school to housemanship, marriage, even surgeries can be crazy sometimes, why have you not quit being a surgeon or even life, abi you do not know how to poison yourself, I could help you, we both know its just an injection away..... call this sham off and get your wife and kids back, you can then, throw a reunion party and I will gladly buy the dress and spray you money but for me to buy aso-ebi for second wife tins in this recession, ogbeni ko le werk!!!!!!!! besides I would not want my husband to do such to me, so I cannot attend and any junior doctor that attends should get ready for me, arrant rubbish, how can people be attending such? encouraging promiscuity mschew..
I had plans to enjoy my day at work by visiting all the social networks I belong too, then this yeye Seun made me dissipate energy on mumu matter, I balanced on my sit and began first with facebook, the network was pretty slow, everyone in my office had time for social matters because for the first time in years we were done with our surgeries for the month and hopefully we would have the remaining days of the month to ourselves, we do not pray for emergency, we sef don taya to dey see blood, we want to watch movies, hang out like regular people even though I still have to read up on some latest discoveries in medicine, learning truly never ends......as I raised up my eyes to see why every one became so quiet, I realised a proposal was about to pass me by, Dr Bassey the cassinova of Africa knelt down and asked a new member of staff, Damola to marry him, infact I thought they had broken up because..........(we would come back to that gist later) it took some minutes before she said YES!!! but she did and we took pictures, Bassey was over joyed, who wouldnt be? Damola is Smart, Pretty, Classy, a fashionista, God-fearing, very sociable infact I wonder why she ever dated Bassey in the first place because I know she is smart enough to spot a 'Calabar demon' anyways its her choice and we were still taking pictures of the couple when we heard.... GBUAIIII!!GBUAIII YOU MUST BE MAD!!!!! that was the next thing we all heard, we all peeped out from the window and alas we saw Dr Tracy smashing Dr Bassey's windscreen with every strength in her, Dr Bassey rushed out and if not for the timely intervention of our security, I would probably be trying to revive him from coma. we all rushed out, I pulled Tracy, collected the stone from her hand and took her into the inner chamber of my office and gave her water to calm down because she has to narrate why she is rehearsing madness abi she wants to terminate her appointment.
Ma, Bassey is a fool, he----he broke up with me to be with Damola, we were dating, then suddenly he shifted attention to her, I confronted him and he said they were just friends and today he had the nerve to get on his knees and buy her a ring!!!!!!!!!!! I cant take it, I had to make him loose something valuable and I am not done with him, how dare him propose to her??? What does he take me for? I shook my head for her in my mind, there are truly three sides to a story, let me tell you the unbiased version. Bassey loves women, you don't need to look deeply before you dig it out, he had even tried to hit on me before, his case is that critical, your wedding ring aint know barrier, then Damola came into the picture and he changed a bit, even though they never admitted to us, they were an item but we knew there was more to the friendship, infact this yeye Tracy girl accused them severally of dating though they denied it, their eyes had a way of saying the truth their lips wanted to hide. Bassey and Tracy had been colleagues for a while and they were never close buddies oooooo, but she and Damola were pretty close, she started to dress well, infact I noticed she changed bra sef so that she can be as trendy as this our fashionista Damola, then suddenly Bassey and Damola were not so close though they managed to exchange pleasantries and madam Tracy was his latest acquisition..... now Bassey's eyes have cleared or maybe he truly misses her and he proposed to the one he loves even though I sincerely think he doesn't deserve her but Tracy deserved the humiliation, infact na wedding Bassey suppose use shock am and then she sits here and narrates the story as if she is the victim, hmmm well, Bassey is the bastard here I agree, but why let yourself be fooled by a bastard? I calmed her down and as usual being my blunt self, I told her the truth she already knew, though it was hard to come to terms with it especially when Bassey was the only guy to ask her out in years..she saw this as her opportunity and decided to maximise it, forgetting that a leopard never changes its spot.
Damola walked in on us, I could see her struggling not to laugh, then she said to her, next time dear, please burn his house or something that would cost him because his insurance company would fix that windscreen in some days.... Tracy annoyingly walked out on us. My expression showed her how worried I was about the ring on her finger, then she whispered to me and said Ma, I only accepted this ring for children purposes, after I get two, he'll get served by my lawyers. I looked at her in amzement, Ma, the man I truly want to be with has fertility issues that only a miracle can make him father. children, so I picked Bassey to father children for him, I know you might say its not fair on him but he too has been unfair to a lot of women, besides he cheated with Tracy and revenge is best served steaming hot, she smiled and walked gracefully back into our open office. I dragged myself to my system and was pondering on stage play that just happened, I finally got to facebook, my darling husband posted a picture of himself at work, one Cynthia commented, curiosity made me check her page and It dawned on me that my husband had named our two daughters after his ex-girlfriend or are they still dating?????????????????????
INSTAGRAM HANDLE: @temielsie
TWITTER HANDLE: @olaoluwaumukoro
I had plans to enjoy my day at work by visiting all the social networks I belong too, then this yeye Seun made me dissipate energy on mumu matter, I balanced on my sit and began first with facebook, the network was pretty slow, everyone in my office had time for social matters because for the first time in years we were done with our surgeries for the month and hopefully we would have the remaining days of the month to ourselves, we do not pray for emergency, we sef don taya to dey see blood, we want to watch movies, hang out like regular people even though I still have to read up on some latest discoveries in medicine, learning truly never ends......as I raised up my eyes to see why every one became so quiet, I realised a proposal was about to pass me by, Dr Bassey the cassinova of Africa knelt down and asked a new member of staff, Damola to marry him, infact I thought they had broken up because..........(we would come back to that gist later) it took some minutes before she said YES!!! but she did and we took pictures, Bassey was over joyed, who wouldnt be? Damola is Smart, Pretty, Classy, a fashionista, God-fearing, very sociable infact I wonder why she ever dated Bassey in the first place because I know she is smart enough to spot a 'Calabar demon' anyways its her choice and we were still taking pictures of the couple when we heard.... GBUAIIII!!GBUAIII YOU MUST BE MAD!!!!! that was the next thing we all heard, we all peeped out from the window and alas we saw Dr Tracy smashing Dr Bassey's windscreen with every strength in her, Dr Bassey rushed out and if not for the timely intervention of our security, I would probably be trying to revive him from coma. we all rushed out, I pulled Tracy, collected the stone from her hand and took her into the inner chamber of my office and gave her water to calm down because she has to narrate why she is rehearsing madness abi she wants to terminate her appointment.
Ma, Bassey is a fool, he----he broke up with me to be with Damola, we were dating, then suddenly he shifted attention to her, I confronted him and he said they were just friends and today he had the nerve to get on his knees and buy her a ring!!!!!!!!!!! I cant take it, I had to make him loose something valuable and I am not done with him, how dare him propose to her??? What does he take me for? I shook my head for her in my mind, there are truly three sides to a story, let me tell you the unbiased version. Bassey loves women, you don't need to look deeply before you dig it out, he had even tried to hit on me before, his case is that critical, your wedding ring aint know barrier, then Damola came into the picture and he changed a bit, even though they never admitted to us, they were an item but we knew there was more to the friendship, infact this yeye Tracy girl accused them severally of dating though they denied it, their eyes had a way of saying the truth their lips wanted to hide. Bassey and Tracy had been colleagues for a while and they were never close buddies oooooo, but she and Damola were pretty close, she started to dress well, infact I noticed she changed bra sef so that she can be as trendy as this our fashionista Damola, then suddenly Bassey and Damola were not so close though they managed to exchange pleasantries and madam Tracy was his latest acquisition..... now Bassey's eyes have cleared or maybe he truly misses her and he proposed to the one he loves even though I sincerely think he doesn't deserve her but Tracy deserved the humiliation, infact na wedding Bassey suppose use shock am and then she sits here and narrates the story as if she is the victim, hmmm well, Bassey is the bastard here I agree, but why let yourself be fooled by a bastard? I calmed her down and as usual being my blunt self, I told her the truth she already knew, though it was hard to come to terms with it especially when Bassey was the only guy to ask her out in years..she saw this as her opportunity and decided to maximise it, forgetting that a leopard never changes its spot.
Damola walked in on us, I could see her struggling not to laugh, then she said to her, next time dear, please burn his house or something that would cost him because his insurance company would fix that windscreen in some days.... Tracy annoyingly walked out on us. My expression showed her how worried I was about the ring on her finger, then she whispered to me and said Ma, I only accepted this ring for children purposes, after I get two, he'll get served by my lawyers. I looked at her in amzement, Ma, the man I truly want to be with has fertility issues that only a miracle can make him father. children, so I picked Bassey to father children for him, I know you might say its not fair on him but he too has been unfair to a lot of women, besides he cheated with Tracy and revenge is best served steaming hot, she smiled and walked gracefully back into our open office. I dragged myself to my system and was pondering on stage play that just happened, I finally got to facebook, my darling husband posted a picture of himself at work, one Cynthia commented, curiosity made me check her page and It dawned on me that my husband had named our two daughters after his ex-girlfriend or are they still dating?????????????????????
INSTAGRAM HANDLE: @temielsie
TWITTER HANDLE: @olaoluwaumukoro
Wednesday, 5 October 2016
WOMENCOLOGY
I am a 'Jagaban', A King Pin when it comes to womencology, I have done women in all shapes, sizes and colours, women to me are like cards, I use them to ease the stress, sometimes they come with their own baggage, what am I saying, all the time they have one craze or the other. I am not one of those that yell 'yourba demons' and have no body count to their title, I come subtle, sweet, responsible and very real, before you gain your balance I have moved on to the next one. I really cannot tell when this conquering women became a habit but I sure need to outgrow it. I used to be a book worm in school, graduated first class civil engineering, went on to do an MBA came out tops and I am a Chartered Financial Analyst, no girl reads my profile and would not hit the like button. I used to tell my friends back in school, chase your books and women would stroll in thousands, they thought I was kidding, well................... they know best now, its just that for some its too late to make amends. I switch jobs every three years, its against my policy to stay in an organisation for any period longer than that and of a truth God has been good, ermm I know you did not expect me to be christian but please don't judge me cause I commit a different sin than you do.
I sometimes feel lonely, I sometimes want a family, the truth is I feel I have frustrated all the women that could have made my house a home, I probably regret my actions but you see even if I want stop, I just cannot, there is nothing cool about being a womaniser, it destroys the soul.... na guy we dey take cover am up, we too cannot explain why we love another and deceive a thousand, we need therapy but we are too ashamed to admit it. My parents and the world at large cannot fathom why I am still single and to add fire to the already burning bush, my younger brother put a ring on his babe's finger yesternight. God knows I could almost disappear once I saw the picture on bbm and as expected family members started calling and saying the usual and for the first time in years they were right, I need to marry before they start thinking I am impotent, my immediate younger sister is married and I am a whooping five years older than she is and now our last born is taking the bold step and I am still busy forming most eligible bachelor biko I am done discovering Mungo Park. I am on the search for a wife or should I say so I thought.... I actually was shocked at what I found out, the truth is that most twenty first century women are not ready to settle down, a steady commitment partner is cool with them, they are not ready to compromise their careers and standards hmmm you would actually think you are playing them but brother its the other way round and when they know you to be a flirt, they squander your money, your time and energy and run off to a brother with a less history in women.
I love dark skinny girls, I do not want any woman looking like a bag of expired rice in my home, but all women that met that description had issues with their brain, I cannot handle women that cannot make economic conversations not everytime "Kim Kardashian". So I met this chubby dark girl, shes is every bit of fun, she is freaking playful and her weaves were screaming 'Peruvian' and she is such a fashionista, I already made up of mind she belongs to the categories of dumb beauties but then I was amazed when she and her friends began talking about the presidential debate, the average Nigerian girl would not even care to listen talk more of remember the intricate details of Trump and Clinton battle... she got me there and yes I got her number, slim tea can fix her big tummy the truth is its not so big and yea she has a healthy doze of crazy. She was at my place the next Saturday and I had so much fun, I really did not want her to leave but I knew she did not really subscribe to the idea. we got dating in less than two weeks and yes I knew I was changing her last name............................. then the past came calling and yes I lied to her on the number of girls and a couple of other things but hey I could not come clean, unknown to me that my babe is a detective, she did her proper feasibility studies and had every detail of my past. I was doing a few other girls but I was trying to change, It was not easy, bad habits can be addictive. I knew she was the one for me, shes is smart, friendly, gorgeous, free spirited, Godly, not like she's perfect but you could see the zeal to always want to do God's will and yet I was going to loose her to stupidity, foolishness.... I pray she doesn't find out. maybe I should let her into my flaws, I was scared she would run, so one night she caught me almost red handed, I lied my way out of it but I knew she just wanted peace to reign so she dropped the issue.
After six months of dating, I was thinking of putting a ring on it, then I met this hot fresh blood, Elsie was her name, she is a freaking seductress, shes a smart one too, I forgot totally about my boo and rode on her boat, I kept it secret and ensured the madam would be around when she would be turning up and I was becoming comfy with having them both for keeps and yes my younger brother's wedding was coming up and being the 'King Pin' I am, I invited them both and they both sat together, laughed, ate together and they had no clue that they were screwing the same nigga, I knew I was not going to marry Elsie because she was too into her career and some emotionally unavailable guy to give a hoot about me cheating, I was just a plaything to her though she cared about me, my Madam on the other hand is a lover of family, she balances me and her career perfectly and most of all, my family members love her. Two months after my brother's wedding, I put a ring on it though I was still on Elsie's case and then the unexpected happened. Elsie invited me to a wedding and alas my MADAM was the BRIDE.....
I sometimes feel lonely, I sometimes want a family, the truth is I feel I have frustrated all the women that could have made my house a home, I probably regret my actions but you see even if I want stop, I just cannot, there is nothing cool about being a womaniser, it destroys the soul.... na guy we dey take cover am up, we too cannot explain why we love another and deceive a thousand, we need therapy but we are too ashamed to admit it. My parents and the world at large cannot fathom why I am still single and to add fire to the already burning bush, my younger brother put a ring on his babe's finger yesternight. God knows I could almost disappear once I saw the picture on bbm and as expected family members started calling and saying the usual and for the first time in years they were right, I need to marry before they start thinking I am impotent, my immediate younger sister is married and I am a whooping five years older than she is and now our last born is taking the bold step and I am still busy forming most eligible bachelor biko I am done discovering Mungo Park. I am on the search for a wife or should I say so I thought.... I actually was shocked at what I found out, the truth is that most twenty first century women are not ready to settle down, a steady commitment partner is cool with them, they are not ready to compromise their careers and standards hmmm you would actually think you are playing them but brother its the other way round and when they know you to be a flirt, they squander your money, your time and energy and run off to a brother with a less history in women.
I love dark skinny girls, I do not want any woman looking like a bag of expired rice in my home, but all women that met that description had issues with their brain, I cannot handle women that cannot make economic conversations not everytime "Kim Kardashian". So I met this chubby dark girl, shes is every bit of fun, she is freaking playful and her weaves were screaming 'Peruvian' and she is such a fashionista, I already made up of mind she belongs to the categories of dumb beauties but then I was amazed when she and her friends began talking about the presidential debate, the average Nigerian girl would not even care to listen talk more of remember the intricate details of Trump and Clinton battle... she got me there and yes I got her number, slim tea can fix her big tummy the truth is its not so big and yea she has a healthy doze of crazy. She was at my place the next Saturday and I had so much fun, I really did not want her to leave but I knew she did not really subscribe to the idea. we got dating in less than two weeks and yes I knew I was changing her last name............................. then the past came calling and yes I lied to her on the number of girls and a couple of other things but hey I could not come clean, unknown to me that my babe is a detective, she did her proper feasibility studies and had every detail of my past. I was doing a few other girls but I was trying to change, It was not easy, bad habits can be addictive. I knew she was the one for me, shes is smart, friendly, gorgeous, free spirited, Godly, not like she's perfect but you could see the zeal to always want to do God's will and yet I was going to loose her to stupidity, foolishness.... I pray she doesn't find out. maybe I should let her into my flaws, I was scared she would run, so one night she caught me almost red handed, I lied my way out of it but I knew she just wanted peace to reign so she dropped the issue.
After six months of dating, I was thinking of putting a ring on it, then I met this hot fresh blood, Elsie was her name, she is a freaking seductress, shes a smart one too, I forgot totally about my boo and rode on her boat, I kept it secret and ensured the madam would be around when she would be turning up and I was becoming comfy with having them both for keeps and yes my younger brother's wedding was coming up and being the 'King Pin' I am, I invited them both and they both sat together, laughed, ate together and they had no clue that they were screwing the same nigga, I knew I was not going to marry Elsie because she was too into her career and some emotionally unavailable guy to give a hoot about me cheating, I was just a plaything to her though she cared about me, my Madam on the other hand is a lover of family, she balances me and her career perfectly and most of all, my family members love her. Two months after my brother's wedding, I put a ring on it though I was still on Elsie's case and then the unexpected happened. Elsie invited me to a wedding and alas my MADAM was the BRIDE.....
Wednesday, 24 August 2016
THE OPPORTUNIST
I freaking struggled with sleep this beautiful morning only for me to get to work and my boss was on his fire range as usual, like does this man ever get tired of yelling no be say the voice even make am mschew? I have never met a man who loved to hear the sound of his own voice this much, his family members deserve an award for putting up with his paranoia all this years, I could really go on and on complaining about this man yet my liver no carry me write resignation letter, If I think of my monthly aso-ebi commitments I go just calm down, the truth be told I have drafted it a few times but mehn when I think about the economy I sincerely respect myself and embrace the shout with my Godly principles after all the bible says If they slap you on your right turn your left, kai see the kind of christian I have become, its only when the condition is beyond me I remember to turn to God hmmmm I really need to change this habit God help me.
Mondays are my favourite day of the week and I am sure you can guess why? my boss comes late, all of us can have a bit of sanity before the madness begins, My amazing sugar pie Eno called me ooooooooo and guess what she's hosting us for the weekend, its her birthday and she has decided to host all of us at my dream resort in Lagos here. my dear, the groove starts on Thursday and I called in sick, my boss can kill himself for all I care..... so the crew began to fall in, little did I know that she was hosting some of her male friends too, I thought to myself this babe don hammer, we had series of event, games, it was fun,I let my hair out and I prayed the day extends beyond 24 hours. I played catch up with most of our university's mates. we had a boat cruise, the suya was sweeeeeeetly different, money e good, I am going to ask my friend what she now does to earn an extra income because I am 100percent sure this whole lavish all expenses paid birthday getaway is not funded by her insurance job.
Reality came calling when the weekend wrapped up, I virtually struggled my week long adjusting to no room service and free food business. I finally got some alone moments with Eno and told her to show me the way, she laughed real hard and drove all the way to my house to give me the gist. I was beginning to think she was into the 'escort business' I wonder why she couldn't say it over the phone, she landed and alas! she rolled it out................... my dearest friend threw out all that party to impress a guy. ENO HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY? she laughed hard. I am 29 my dear, love doesn't seem to work out this days, so I sat down and logically put pen to paper and weighed my options. you see Wale is comfortable, he is hardworking and would not be a liability to me, the only problem is he is a bloody opportunist, he only dates women with the cash and connection, why in the world do you think I started buying and selling? but you were dating one millionaire son? she laughed real hard again, T-girl, that was another stunt to get his attention, why would I marry Bayo, I used him for his money, that alcoholic, club boy, all he does is sleep, party, spend his father's money, drugs etc. that is a future liability, if I didn't dump him fast, he would have beaten me to it and that would have spoilt my market for Wale, look sweets, Wale is would be a good father to his kids, if not for anything his family name, being his baby mama is cool with me and being the opportunist that he is, this game plan will work infact it has already, we started gisting about other things.
I couldn't even sleep, I had to review my relationship, I have known my man for like forever and he only asked me out after I got an MBA, in other news he realised I wasn't a liability and that's why he fell in love with me (going by Wale's theory). I was really shocked he was single though but I guess, I was too glad to be his, though I did shakara for a while before I finally agreed but from the time he he asked me out, my heart said YES. The flashbacks of our conversations before we got together began replaying. hmmmmm Chukwudi is a freaking strategist, I am just one of his well planned financial investment. I really felt awful but what can a young girl LIVING IN LAGOS WHERE MEN ARE SCARCE DO........................................... I decided to investigate further, I remember correctly that his cousin had this worried face on when she realised we were a couple. we've become pretty close though and she's my ticket to finding out about my sugar's past. On the other hand my darling Eno and Wale have become such an item and alas my darling girlfriend changed her ride to the latest G-wagon just to keep up her game, she almost emptied her account for this her new appearance upgrade. what stunned me the most is the fact that Wale is a cool guy, successful, godly why he only dates women who have loads of cash is what I can't comprehend, its not like he is broke, why cant a regular average woman appeal to him? Wale's birthday was coming up and my dear friend decided to throw him a lavish party, she did not make it a surprise, she made sure he knew every penny she spent, infact she even inflated some figures, I had to give her credit she's a master in her game, all she needs is a child from him and she's cool. the highlights of the party for me was when I met an old school friend mine who's now the head of HR for one of the leading telecommunications, I sent her my resume sharply and the salary looked like triple what I currently earned, no b only SAKA go port.......As I was busy thanking her in advance, we just heard some screams and ALAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wale proposed in grand style, the diamonds were humbling, Eno just kept winking at me and I just couldn't believe my eyes. she came calling at my office and my dear we spoke in low tunes, she kept telling me how she got more than she bargained for, the bloody opportunist thinks he is the only one that can make plans, sweets I beat him to his game. the weeding would be coming up soon and after I conceive, off to the US I fly and he must foot all my bills. Love had been cruel to my darling ENO and here is she smiling to the altar. smartness sure pays and I sincerely feel her and Wale would make a good couple, she understands him perfectly.
I landed my new job and all I could do was thank God, Chukwudi began talking marriage plans and the urge to dig his past came calling but before I could............ the smart ass has brought his family to my house a proper introduction was given birth to and alas my wedding date beat that of my friend. I told her my fears and all she kept saying, see all men are animals some just make better pets, manage him at least he would not be feeding of you and he'll be responsible for your children, forget all that yeye background check and be happy!!!!!!!!!!!! but that was not my idea of marriage, I have too much hopes to just dig into something I'll be unhappy in. the night before my wedding I surfing the web and my husband's facebook account had the answers to all my questions, his cousin had nothing concrete to give me, I had to do a reminder to all his friends so I had the password and yes I realised that the real love of his life is one Muslim girl, Salewa and his parents was their barrier besides the girl's family money was nothing to write home about and yes she was carrying their baby, their medium of communication is only via facebook, he had moved her to Canada and from her message she understood he had to marry me as I was a perfect substitute. Tears refused to roll down my face, I just sent the broadcast on his wall and screen-grabbed all their messages to my ipad and went to bed.
Everyone was set and yes I was about to say I do another woman's baby father, I looked really pretty, tears rolled down the fool's face when I appeared, (the boy dey use me they practice nolly wood) and then the pastor asked the heart pounding question.................. after about 3 seconds, I stood up, dug my hand into my dress and rolled out the printed copy of the message, I had already planned with the ushers at my wedding to distribute once I stood up, my mum was the only one we left out of the plan but my dad and sisters knew the wedding was off, Chukwudi and family were embarrassed, they kept saying we could settle it............ I rode off with my siblings to a quiet place where we had cake and some of the yummies..... I cried my heart out to God that night and of cause it was on all the blogs the next morning, and I thought why not turn this weakeness into a strength, I began a vlog on how to deal with wrong choices and began cashing out. I became a presenter on three television shows and worked with a radio house, I had to quit my 9-5 job though but I had become a celebrity over night and my company made me one of their brand ambassadors....... (LATEST BIG GIRL ON THE BLOCK)
Eno got married and like I predicted, they both are doing great, I on the other hand just landed this holly wood job, well yeah I added acting to my skills to expand my income, you know I have to keep up appearances. I am glad I walked out, it changed my life.........I am dating this really cool dude, we are meeting his parents this week in Calfornia............... and we just might hit it from.............................
INSTAGRAM HANDLE @Temielsie
Twitter Account@Olaoluwaumukoro
Mondays are my favourite day of the week and I am sure you can guess why? my boss comes late, all of us can have a bit of sanity before the madness begins, My amazing sugar pie Eno called me ooooooooo and guess what she's hosting us for the weekend, its her birthday and she has decided to host all of us at my dream resort in Lagos here. my dear, the groove starts on Thursday and I called in sick, my boss can kill himself for all I care..... so the crew began to fall in, little did I know that she was hosting some of her male friends too, I thought to myself this babe don hammer, we had series of event, games, it was fun,I let my hair out and I prayed the day extends beyond 24 hours. I played catch up with most of our university's mates. we had a boat cruise, the suya was sweeeeeeetly different, money e good, I am going to ask my friend what she now does to earn an extra income because I am 100percent sure this whole lavish all expenses paid birthday getaway is not funded by her insurance job.
Reality came calling when the weekend wrapped up, I virtually struggled my week long adjusting to no room service and free food business. I finally got some alone moments with Eno and told her to show me the way, she laughed real hard and drove all the way to my house to give me the gist. I was beginning to think she was into the 'escort business' I wonder why she couldn't say it over the phone, she landed and alas! she rolled it out................... my dearest friend threw out all that party to impress a guy. ENO HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY? she laughed hard. I am 29 my dear, love doesn't seem to work out this days, so I sat down and logically put pen to paper and weighed my options. you see Wale is comfortable, he is hardworking and would not be a liability to me, the only problem is he is a bloody opportunist, he only dates women with the cash and connection, why in the world do you think I started buying and selling? but you were dating one millionaire son? she laughed real hard again, T-girl, that was another stunt to get his attention, why would I marry Bayo, I used him for his money, that alcoholic, club boy, all he does is sleep, party, spend his father's money, drugs etc. that is a future liability, if I didn't dump him fast, he would have beaten me to it and that would have spoilt my market for Wale, look sweets, Wale is would be a good father to his kids, if not for anything his family name, being his baby mama is cool with me and being the opportunist that he is, this game plan will work infact it has already, we started gisting about other things.
I couldn't even sleep, I had to review my relationship, I have known my man for like forever and he only asked me out after I got an MBA, in other news he realised I wasn't a liability and that's why he fell in love with me (going by Wale's theory). I was really shocked he was single though but I guess, I was too glad to be his, though I did shakara for a while before I finally agreed but from the time he he asked me out, my heart said YES. The flashbacks of our conversations before we got together began replaying. hmmmmm Chukwudi is a freaking strategist, I am just one of his well planned financial investment. I really felt awful but what can a young girl LIVING IN LAGOS WHERE MEN ARE SCARCE DO........................................... I decided to investigate further, I remember correctly that his cousin had this worried face on when she realised we were a couple. we've become pretty close though and she's my ticket to finding out about my sugar's past. On the other hand my darling Eno and Wale have become such an item and alas my darling girlfriend changed her ride to the latest G-wagon just to keep up her game, she almost emptied her account for this her new appearance upgrade. what stunned me the most is the fact that Wale is a cool guy, successful, godly why he only dates women who have loads of cash is what I can't comprehend, its not like he is broke, why cant a regular average woman appeal to him? Wale's birthday was coming up and my dear friend decided to throw him a lavish party, she did not make it a surprise, she made sure he knew every penny she spent, infact she even inflated some figures, I had to give her credit she's a master in her game, all she needs is a child from him and she's cool. the highlights of the party for me was when I met an old school friend mine who's now the head of HR for one of the leading telecommunications, I sent her my resume sharply and the salary looked like triple what I currently earned, no b only SAKA go port.......As I was busy thanking her in advance, we just heard some screams and ALAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wale proposed in grand style, the diamonds were humbling, Eno just kept winking at me and I just couldn't believe my eyes. she came calling at my office and my dear we spoke in low tunes, she kept telling me how she got more than she bargained for, the bloody opportunist thinks he is the only one that can make plans, sweets I beat him to his game. the weeding would be coming up soon and after I conceive, off to the US I fly and he must foot all my bills. Love had been cruel to my darling ENO and here is she smiling to the altar. smartness sure pays and I sincerely feel her and Wale would make a good couple, she understands him perfectly.
I landed my new job and all I could do was thank God, Chukwudi began talking marriage plans and the urge to dig his past came calling but before I could............ the smart ass has brought his family to my house a proper introduction was given birth to and alas my wedding date beat that of my friend. I told her my fears and all she kept saying, see all men are animals some just make better pets, manage him at least he would not be feeding of you and he'll be responsible for your children, forget all that yeye background check and be happy!!!!!!!!!!!! but that was not my idea of marriage, I have too much hopes to just dig into something I'll be unhappy in. the night before my wedding I surfing the web and my husband's facebook account had the answers to all my questions, his cousin had nothing concrete to give me, I had to do a reminder to all his friends so I had the password and yes I realised that the real love of his life is one Muslim girl, Salewa and his parents was their barrier besides the girl's family money was nothing to write home about and yes she was carrying their baby, their medium of communication is only via facebook, he had moved her to Canada and from her message she understood he had to marry me as I was a perfect substitute. Tears refused to roll down my face, I just sent the broadcast on his wall and screen-grabbed all their messages to my ipad and went to bed.
Everyone was set and yes I was about to say I do another woman's baby father, I looked really pretty, tears rolled down the fool's face when I appeared, (the boy dey use me they practice nolly wood) and then the pastor asked the heart pounding question.................. after about 3 seconds, I stood up, dug my hand into my dress and rolled out the printed copy of the message, I had already planned with the ushers at my wedding to distribute once I stood up, my mum was the only one we left out of the plan but my dad and sisters knew the wedding was off, Chukwudi and family were embarrassed, they kept saying we could settle it............ I rode off with my siblings to a quiet place where we had cake and some of the yummies..... I cried my heart out to God that night and of cause it was on all the blogs the next morning, and I thought why not turn this weakeness into a strength, I began a vlog on how to deal with wrong choices and began cashing out. I became a presenter on three television shows and worked with a radio house, I had to quit my 9-5 job though but I had become a celebrity over night and my company made me one of their brand ambassadors....... (LATEST BIG GIRL ON THE BLOCK)
Eno got married and like I predicted, they both are doing great, I on the other hand just landed this holly wood job, well yeah I added acting to my skills to expand my income, you know I have to keep up appearances. I am glad I walked out, it changed my life.........I am dating this really cool dude, we are meeting his parents this week in Calfornia............... and we just might hit it from.............................
INSTAGRAM HANDLE @Temielsie
Twitter Account
Monday, 11 July 2016
TEST-SHIP or FRIENDSHIP???????
I am always very excited on Wednesdays, maybe because it's midweek and things are calmer in my office or because my friends and I sometimes sing at a karaoke bar to ease of tension. I am not a Friday person majorly because most people squander their hard earned money on frivolities and the traffic that accompanies the night is laced with fatigue that can leave one subservient to pain killers all week long.... you can't find me hanging out on Fridays.... NEVER!!!!! Just as I finished ranting about how much I hate going out on Fridays, an email from my 'friend' Tunde popped up and it stated, he wanted me to be his plus one to his friend's birthday dinner... I just sank into my seat, the sad part is, I can't even say NO, this is one friend that I have handed the keys to my heart on a platter even though we aren't official and please don't judge me at least not yet.
It's past two in the afternoon and it just dawned on me that I haven't had anything to eat or drink neither have I checked my phone all day long... this corporate slavery thing is killing o, this my employers though they pay well never give you enough time to enjoy your wealth... I picked up my phone and behold my Actor friend Tracy, whose other part time job is being a fashion junkie had called me 96 times. So I called her back.
I thought you had been kidnapped? I laughed hard and said because you are not on set today, the rest of us should quit our jobs? Well that sounds like a great idea, anyways we all need to hook up, I have informed Hadiza, we'll meet at my place. We are spending next weekend together but before then I have tickets to a show and you both must look smashing as my stylist will cook you both something to grace the red carpet on... (I quickly cut in) Miss planner biko some of us have plans, I have a wedding to attend next weekend. I am coming with you, yipeeeeeeeeeee, Tracy is an excited child, and I sure would need her to laugh me up. Who is getting married she asked? Tunde's sister. Oh your church boyfriend!!!! He hasn't made us official o, I replied. Haaaaaa it's been almost two years Bolàaààaàa!!!!!! Haba now Tracy its just a year and some months old since we got close. Girlfriend you are not a specimen, get yourself out of such nonsense TEST-SHIP. I gotta run,(pause) you are so not going to his sister wedding, I'll Plan something more fun. Love you..
I sat down pondering on Tracy's words, then reality hit me, this Tunde guy definitely doesn't like me that much to wife me or he is into some one else and using me as a second option while giving me the impression, he'll come for me someday without expressly saying it and silly me too, I have been forming listening ear, cooking, visiting but wait ooooo this guy is not anything close to being a Yoruba demon as he encourages me spiritually but... maybe he likes me as his sister but he buys me gifts and takes me out..... ehen even on several occasions he asked me if I can marry someone like him abi was he just asking.... I am confused or am I just the one seeing his kind gestures as an invitation to commitment?????
Tracy got another improtu job, we had to re-fix our sleepover, I met an old friend whose bestie was into me, I was too glad to finally discard Tunde, so I tried to reduce the rate at which I reply his messages and all, so this new catch, is such a devotee and wants marriage But his dress sense is extremely poor, I'll tush him up jare, I consoled myself.. we were hanging out at his place and alas the brother tried to kiss me... goodness lord! How can you profess to hold positions of authority in the church and you want to kiss me, brother chill o I am not even courting you yet. NONSENSE!!!! I picked my bag, blocked his call and that was the end. If I need a kiss, I'll rather meet some hawtly dressed strikingly handsome fella who is a professional at it. Mschew...
In my anger, I called my Hadiza to tell her what just happened and she laughed hard stating I was lucky, her own Muslim friend attempted to rape her in her own sitting room when he came visiting, thank God her over bearing neighbour came to borrow some seasonings as usual. I couldn't believe my ears, what this generation degrading into is appalling. How can you hide under the name of God and cheat fellow humans?
I drove to church for an evening programme and my church bestie left her purse with me to go take a leak and alas her phone rang and Tunde was the caller, I quickly checked her chat with him and realised the same way he checks up on me and throws indirect marriage talks in our chat is the same way he chats with Chioma at first I was mad but then again he's not mine, I might have interpreted to much meaning to his indirect talks and kindness but that's not a reason to pick a fight, I'll just respect myself and keep my distance. No more doing his cooking, laundry, etc. I ain't his momma.
Chioma landed back on her seat and I told her Tunde called she just sighed and said that unserious one, How do you mean I asked? He has been close to almost every girl in this church and yet not dated anyone, talk more of marry, I don't have time to waste biko, he's probably looking for a perfect woman, who has wealth and can meet up to his criterion's. The only good thing is he doesn't bed them even at that I strongly am against misleading friendship. Why dash someone's hope? It's probably just friendship I said, no she argued that's not friendship, making me get vibes that you will be mine, that's not friendship, he is a born again player na, I had to repeat that born again player chai Chiommmma mo, well... a friend of mine calls that sort of thing TEST-SHIP... exactly testship, he's a testship master, I don't blame him, it's the silly girls that give him face I blame. I couldn't smile to that so I just said God save us from all this players in Christian and Muslim forms...
Instagram handle... @Temielsie.
TEST-SHIP or FRIENDSHIP???????
I am always very excited on Wednesdays, maybe because it's midweek and things are calmer in my office or because my friends and I sometimes sing at a karaoke bar to ease of tension. I am not a Friday person majorly because most people squander their hard earned money on frivolities and the traffic that accompanies the night is laced with fatigue that can leave one subservient to pain killers all week long.... you can't find me hanging out on Fridays.... NEVER!!!!!
It's past two in the afternoon and it just dawned on me that I haven't had anything to eat or drink neither have I checked my phone all day long... this corporate slavery thing is killing o, this my employers though they pay well never give you enough time to enjoy your wealth... I picked up my phone and behold my Actor friend Tracy, whose other part time job is being a fashion junkie had called me 96 times. So I called her back.
I thought you had been kidnapped? I laughed hard and said because you are not on set today, the rest of us should quit our jobs? Well that sounds like a great idea, anyways we all need to hook up, I have informed Hadiza, we'll meet at my place. We are spending next weekend together but before then I have tickets to a show and you both must look smashing as my stylist will cook you both something to grace the red carpet on... (I quickly cut in) Miss planner biko some of us have plans, I have a wedding to attend next weekend. I am coming with you, yipeeeeeeeeeee, Tracy is an excited child, and I sure would need her to laugh me up. Who is getting married she asked? Tunde's sister. Oh your church boyfriend!!!! He hasn't made us official o, I replied. Haaaaaa it's been almost two years Bolàaààaàa!!!!!! Haba now Tracy its just a year and some months old since we got close. Girlfriend you are not a specimen, get yourself out of such nonsense TEST-SHIP. I gotta run,(pause) you are so not going to his sister wedding, I'll Plan something more fun. Love you..
I sat down pondering on Tracy's words, then reality hit me, this Tunde guy definitely doesn't like me that much to wife me or he is into some one else and using me as a second option while giving me the impression, he'll come for me someday without expressly saying it and silly me too, I have been forming listening ear, cooking, visiting but wait ooooo this guy is not anything close to being a Yoruba demon as he encourages me spiritually but... maybe he likes me as his sister but he buys me gifts and takes me out..... ehen even on several occasions he asked me if I can marry someone like him abi was he just asking.... I am confused or am I just the one seeing his kind gestures as an invitation to commitment?????
Tracy got another improtu job, we had to re-fix our sleepover, I met an old friend whose bestie was into me, I was too glad to finally discard Tunde, so I tried to reduce the rate at which I reply his messages and all, so this new catch, is such a devotee and wants marriage But his dress sense is extremely poor, I'll tush him up jare, I consoled myself.. we were hanging out at his place and alas the brother tried to kiss me... goodness lord! How can you profess to hold positions of authority in the church and you want to kiss me, brother chill o I am not even courting you yet. NONSENSE!!!! I picked my bag, blocked his call and that was the end. If I need a kiss, I'll rather meet some hawtly dressed strikingly handsome fella who is a professional at it. Mschew...
In my anger, I called my Hadiza to tell her what just happened and she laughed hard stating I was lucky, her own Muslim friend attempted to rape her in her own sitting room when he came visiting, thank God her over bearing neighbour came to borrow some seasonings as usual. I couldn't believe my ears, what this generation is degrading into is appalling. How can you hide under the name of God and cheat fellow humans?
I drove to church for an evening programme and my church bestie left her purse with me to go take a leak and alas her phone rang and Tunde was the caller, I quickly checked her chat with him and realised the same way he checks up on me and throws indirect marriage talks in our chat is the same way he chats with Chioma at first I was mad but then again he's not mine, I might have interpreted to much meaning to his indirect talks and kindness but that's not a reason to pick a fight, I'll just respect myself and keep my distance. No more doing his cooking, laundry, etc. I ain't his momma.
Chioma landed back on her seat and I told her Tunde called she just sighed and said that unserious one, How do you mean I asked? He has been close to almost every girl in this church and yet not dated anyone, talk more of marry, I don't have time to waste biko, he's probably looking for a perfect woman, who has wealth and can meet up to his criterion's. The only good thing is he doesn't bed them even at that I strongly am against misleading friendship. Why dash someone's hope? It's probably just friendship I said, no she argued that's not friendship, making me get vibes that you will be mine, that's not friendship, he is a born again player na, I had to repeat that born again player chai Chiommmma mo, well... a friend of mine calls that sort of thing TEST-SHIP... exactly testship, he's a testship master, I don't blame him, it's the silly girls that give him face I blame. I couldn't smile to that so I just said God save us from all this players in Christian and Muslim forms...
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