WOMENCOLOGY

I am a 'Jagaban', A King Pin when it comes to womencology, I have done women in all shapes, sizes and colours, women to me are like cards, I use them to ease the stress, sometimes they come with their own baggage, what am I saying, all the time they have one craze or the other. I am not one of those that yell 'yourba demons' and have no body count to their title, I come subtle, sweet, responsible and very real, before you gain your balance I have moved on to the next one. I really cannot tell when this conquering women became a habit but I sure need to outgrow it. I used to be a book worm in school, graduated first class civil engineering, went on to do an MBA came out tops and I am a Chartered Financial Analyst, no girl reads my profile and would not hit the like button. I used to tell my friends back in school, chase your books and women would stroll in thousands, they thought I was kidding, well................... they know best now, its just that for some its too late to make amends. I switch jobs every three years, its against my policy to stay in an organisation for any period longer than that and of a truth God has been good, ermm I know you did not expect me to be christian but please don't judge me cause I commit a different sin than you do.

I sometimes feel lonely, I sometimes want a family, the truth is I feel I have frustrated all the women that could have made my house a home, I probably regret my actions but you see even if I want stop, I just cannot, there is nothing cool about being a womaniser, it destroys the soul.... na guy we dey take cover am up, we too cannot explain why we love another and deceive a thousand, we need therapy but we are too ashamed to admit it. My parents and the world at large cannot fathom why I am still single and to add fire to the already burning bush, my younger brother put a ring on his babe's finger yesternight. God knows I could almost disappear once I saw the picture on bbm and as expected family members started calling and saying the usual and for the first time in years they were right, I need to marry before they start thinking I am impotent, my immediate younger sister is married and I am a whooping five years older than she is and now our last born is taking the bold step and I am still busy forming most eligible bachelor biko I am done discovering Mungo Park. I am on the search for a wife or should I say so I thought.... I actually was shocked at what I found out, the truth is that most twenty first century women are not ready to settle down, a steady commitment partner is cool with them, they are not ready to compromise their careers and standards hmmm you would actually think you are playing them but brother its the other way round and when they know you to be a flirt, they squander your money, your time and energy and run off to a brother with a less history in women.

I love dark skinny girls, I do not want any woman looking like a bag of expired rice in my home, but all women that met that description had issues with their brain, I cannot handle women that cannot make economic conversations not everytime "Kim Kardashian". So I met this chubby dark girl, shes is every bit of fun, she is freaking playful and her weaves were screaming 'Peruvian' and she is such a fashionista, I already made up of mind she belongs to the categories of dumb beauties but then I was amazed when she and her friends began talking about the presidential debate, the average Nigerian girl would not even care to listen talk more of remember the intricate details of Trump and Clinton battle... she got me there and yes I got her number, slim tea can fix her big tummy the truth is its not so big and yea she has a healthy doze of crazy. She was at my place the next Saturday and I had so much fun, I really did not want her to leave but I knew she did not really subscribe to the idea. we got dating in less than two weeks and yes I knew I was changing her last name............................. then the past came calling and yes I lied to her on the number of girls and a couple of other things but hey I could not come clean, unknown to me that my babe is a detective, she did her proper feasibility studies and had every detail of my past. I was doing a few other girls but I was trying to change, It was not easy, bad habits can be addictive. I knew she was the one for me, shes is smart, friendly, gorgeous, free spirited, Godly, not like she's perfect but you could see the zeal to always want to do God's will and yet I was going to loose her to stupidity, foolishness.... I pray she doesn't find out. maybe I should let her into my flaws, I was scared she would run, so one night she caught me almost red handed, I lied my way out of it but I knew she just wanted peace to reign so she dropped the issue.

After six months of dating, I was thinking of putting a ring on it, then I met this hot fresh blood, Elsie was her name, she is a freaking seductress, shes a smart one too, I forgot totally about my boo and rode on her boat, I kept it secret and ensured the madam would be around when she would be turning up and I was becoming comfy with having them both for keeps and yes my younger brother's wedding was coming up and being the 'King Pin' I am, I invited them both and they both sat together, laughed, ate together and they had no clue that they were screwing the same nigga, I knew I was not going to marry Elsie  because she was too into her career and some emotionally unavailable guy to give a hoot about me cheating, I was just a plaything to her though she cared about me, my Madam on the other hand is a lover of family, she balances me and her career perfectly and most of all, my family members love her. Two months after my brother's wedding, I put a ring on it though I was still on Elsie's case and then the unexpected happened. Elsie invited me to a wedding and alas my MADAM was the BRIDE.....