Na real wa!!!!!!!!!!! It's almost a sin in this part of the world to be 25, female and single. what is more worrying is the fact that everyone wants to hook you up with someone they think is your "soul mate", the sad part is if you refuse to go on a date or chat, they label you 'Miss Shakara' and other crazy names that are only best imagined and is not like the men sef make sense mschew. I won a case in court yesterday and I treated myself to a w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l m-a-s-s-a-g-e, for the first time in years, I actually relaxed for a bit, I really should do this more often...erm well, i'll need a salary raise to keep spoiling myself like that, my eyes met my watch and I realised I was running late, my two favourite people in the world would yell their lungs out today, but I had to glam up and yes I did. Lawrence had to admit, I looked ravishing and Sandra, my ever outspoken sister from another mother could not believe I had become an 'MUA' over night. we decided to do a late night movie and this got me super excited. A strikingly handsome man laid his hands on my shoulder, his cologne sent me to Pluto and back, In my head I had already picked a wedding date. We talked for a bit and he slid his card in my palm, I stored his number immediately and buzzed him up, I was all smiles because, his first impression was grand.
We both know you are either going to chat the fella up for a bit and dump him or you'll just friend zone him for life.... I snapped at Lawrence, what kind of talk is that? if he's into me, i'll sure let him rock my boat, I'm not anti-relationship jor, i'll just never settle for less or anything that will hurt me, at least not again. Why wont you get hurt? when you keep loving the wrong people, the Yoruba demon kind of guys, the men who can make you laugh but not give you joy, you ignore those who will give their life up just to see you smile and end up with those who have mastered the act of playing pretend, they hurt you and then you go on your regular relationship sabbatical. Olaoluwa I'm done watching you make wrong choices....I'm done. Sandra tried to pull Lawrence back from walking away but her hands failed her, I sincerely was lost and Sandra sure found me. Don't tell me you did not know that he wanted you for keeps. huh? b-u-t, ha, he never said anything to me, Sandra in her usual sarcastic tone.. "ehen" so he should cut of his head before you understand bah, all the special attention nkor, the calls, gifts, looks. come of it Ola, just say its your principle not to date your "paddys" that blindfolded you.
I barely slept that night, the drama kept replaying in my head, yes, I know I have PhD in "friend-zoning'' but he did not say jack to me about love and all that crap Sandra was saying about his calls and all, they are not tenable in my books, because most of my male friends call me for long hours too and I bug them as much as I trouble Lawrence, its his fault for not speaking in clear language abi how hard is it to ask your friend out? maybe it was his words, yes I love men that have game and where has it landed me? and then he blamed me for flaunting the single card for so long????? some of us love with our all, I'm guilty of taking my relationship too seriously, or how else do you explain praying and fasting, emptying your account, planning my life to complement their coconut heads and its not easy jumping into another..... its not like my heart has ever been broken because nothing ever happened that I did not envisage, I only stayed because I felt, they'll change, he'll outgrow it and one time, it was purely adventure. Sincerely, I'm very comfortable my single status, I just want money and need a record label to sign me up, enough of this lawyer duties, even though I am getting good at it and Lawrence had better get his act together, I cant afford to loose our friendship but for now let me find another bestie....................
I was on the plane to a new land, I was off to music school, I met this amazing gentle man whose eyes had forever beaming from them, everyone I had dated had forever beaming from their eyes so please do not trust my judgement. He did the needful but this time, I wasn't ready, I wanted to take my time to study him before jumping into any relationship, enough of adventures and trusting people's judgement. I was scared he might leave but I braced up and stuck to my guns and well he stayed, days became weeks and we became official, I kept looking for loop holes and found none, I said to myself this brother must be the CHIEF of all players. I had his passwords, and he pays attention to my every word, even though he is one of the busiest men on planet earth, he gave me the best gifts, he supported me, prayed with me, was ready to wait till the appropriate time before eating "the fruit" not like it had not be eaten before but he wanted to do it right. I came to the conclusion that he was mine and yes I let my hair down and enjoyed the new dawn...........
My boo had to be in Germany for a summit, I on the other hand got the opportunity to feature an international artiste on my first single, I was raving joyful..... the door bell to my flat rang I was about to go get it with my phone in my hand, when a message came in, 'stay off my boyfriend, Mathew is mine and you cannot come between us, by the way its fun not having you here in Germany with us. Love ya.' I opened the door and realised a package had come from him, it was the latest channel bag, a Fendi shoe and some clothes, he had told me they'll be delivered today, I just dumped them in one corner of the room and wept my eyes sore, I asked myself, what offence I had committed that evil men keep locating me, I felt like calling the number but it was point less, fighting for a man is a taboo in my books, I moved on but in the usual Olaoluwa's style, I withdrew gradually........ he kept asking what was wrong and I kept saying nothing....
Mathew knew I had changed but instead of him to confess he kept acting like he cared, he would have fooled me but that message ended the way he ends our messages abeg he is just like the rest, on one fateful Tuesday night, that same number called, the number called too many times I had to pick...''hey Ola! I am summoning you to our house, you should come meet us..............'' Tears flowed down my eyes, I managed to laugh and gist with the caller, we were on it for over three hours, by the way it was Mathew's mum, He had gisted me of how crazy his mum was in her younger years, he wanted me to meet his family from the minute we became official, but I was not ready, some mothers are hypocritical and deceit runs in their family lineage not like meeting them helps the union...... I remember meeting his aunt at an event, she had recognised me from pictures he had shown them, we exchanged numbers, I'm sure that how she got my number............ I ran off to a store and bought my baby a gift, I went to his office and asked for his forgiveness. I never knew life had left me jaded..... Mathew and I sort counselling and I must say, I learnt a lot, its funny how the indelible marks the past leaves us births attitude that can ruin one's future. I finally got to opening the gift that was delivered months back, I was going to rock the shoe and bag to my first ever interview, I opened the bag and alas!!!!!!!!!!!! it was a ring and a beautiful note that read.......
I know you are not ready yet,
this is not cos you are playing hard to get
but this is just to tell you dear,
that my forever is incomplete without you in it.....
If loving you is wrong then being right is an option
i'll never explore so be rest assured that my love for you is unconditional
and forever will never be enough to show you how much you mean to me..
Olaoluwami please be my wife, let's raise godly children and build our empire together......
P.S I know I still have to kneel but it'll be when you are ready and I'll know you are, when you text me your mums digits........
I just smiled, smiled and smiled again, I looked up to heaven and thanked God for a new dawn.
Thursday, 23 March 2017
Monday, 13 February 2017
LOVE IN ENGLAND
It was the 'heart attack five minutes' of every wedding, In those minutes, you flash through your life and remember those ex'es you've wronged, the ones that have valid evidences that can mar your future, I sincerely wanted someone to save me from this disaster of a marriage, ok maybe its not that bad but I definitely know who I want to spend my forever with and he looks nothing like my husband. I looked into my husband's eyes, he had this glow I never thought his eyes could emit. I on other hand looked ravishing, my make up artist was paid a fortune to make me look nothing short of a queen......I silently prayed someone would just interrupt this moment and save me....In that second, I turned back and the love of my life walked in, my heart leaped for joy, I smiled but quickly turned to my husband....Seun Ajayi. I kept waiting for him to interrupt but my hopes were dashed, I personally bought two air tickets for my frenemies, so they can be useful and tell the world how I was engaged and still had an affair with Chris, coincidentally his surname is also 'Ajayi', maybe I have a thing for the name. I am a hundred percent sure those girls were busy gossiping and taking pictures, I know they hate me, cant they just ruin this day? well, it was over and we were pronounced man and wife. My wedding reception was more like a carnival, I had four wedding planners, my father in law had embezzled billions of Nigeria's money and instead of him to be put behind bars, he was given a seat in the senate, through his connection, my mum was made commissioner, my dad a minister, even some of my extended families got some unexplained position. They have helped raised our class not like we were poor but we are definitely richer than we ever thought we could become.
I met Seun in my first year in the University, I never liked him but he saved my life, there was know better way of showing gratitude than agreeing to be his, I liked the idea and coped with all his excesses and I knew my place, maybe I thought he would get tired and leave a boring girl like me alone but he did not and families got to meet, lets just say after my parents got their new titles and my sister got a job in Chevron, there was nothing in this world that could stop me from marrying him, I loved the idea, the cars, wealth, attention, p-o-w-e-r, guards, maids. I never imagined I would want to give it up for anything in the world.............................then I found Love in England, I think the attraction was the surname, I had thought they were related, they are not even from the same state, then we became friends. Chris completes me, he is Christian, very hard working though from a wealthy home, politeness and humility runs through his veins, now please why would I ever leave him alone and choose to be with a lazy drunk who does nothing but squanders money on different islands with different girls, women and men of similar minds but thinking of it, its a small price to pay....he saved my life, that was my consolation line before Chris Ajayi came into my life. I now know its better to be dead than living without Chris. I s--in-c-er--ly cannot explain how we got this deep but I know it sure hurts him more, that I will never be his..... we came up with a plan.
I already sold the idea to my husband and he bought it, a Phd in Germany, infact we already had our admission letters, we would live together, then I would do a post doctorate degree, anything to keep me and Chris united, we agreed to stay off calls till my honey moon was over, which was fine by me. On a very sunny Saturday evening, I got a text from my own, it was drafted like an advert by the way I stored his name as Konga online, just incase hubby went snooping, I knew it meant call me, I did and the shocker of my life came, Chris told me to face my marriage, he couldn't deal anymore. he preferred the 'eloping' option but my father in law is evil, he has guys planted all over planet earth and we would be picked in less than a day if we explored that option. He told me he was gone for good, cut the call and I never got through to him again, he deleted all his social media accounts and with him being an only child, I had no sibling to call, he mentioned one cousin, but I really couldn't remember a name to search for and calling any old class mates would just bring unnecessary attention, need I add there are a million 'Ajayi's' in the world, I would not make any headway in the search, even if i tried.
I was lonely, sad, had earned the trophy wife title so easily, I had started my own company, was successful, had my circle, drank heavily, my husband on the other hand did nothing, his father blessed me heartily, I took pills to prevent me from conceiving, my company was my only source of joy but no one noticed how unhappy I had become, the world admired my cars, rings, hairs and other material things, I was their prayer point, I once warned a friend 'be careful what you prayed for'. I was about to go on air for an interview, when a message popped on my telegram, It was a video of 'Ebuka'!!!!!!!!!! I actually fell down flat because he was supposed to be dead, I managed to rush up the interview being the professional I was trained to be, I ran to my car and called the number back and it was Chris, a mixture of love, hate, anger and sweetness took over. I got my Visa and was on the next flight to Australia, that was where Chris ran to. I walked into the lecture room, Ebuka almost fainted when he saw me, the truth unfolded and I realised I had been played, someone had read me like a book and used it against me.
Ebuka was my first boyfriend in University, he was Seun's best friend, rumour had it they were gay, I confronted him, he denied it and I believed, on this fateful afternoon, I went to his house without informing him, I caught them both in the act, that was the most disgusting thing I ever saw, I was about to leave when Ebuka held me, all I did was push him, he landed on the wall and alas he was dead or so I thought....I remember Seun calling his father to help clear the body and they did....so how Chris found him alive in Australia was still a big shock to me. Ebuka explained it was planned, Seun paid him heavily and he agreed to it, he wanted to marry a good girl, that would be indebted to him and live with his bi-sexual issues and I did because of fear of prison. I cannot believe he had me wrapped round his finger all this while and here I was feeling guilty for loving another...
I knew one thing for certain, I needed to cash out big before leaving the bastard, so I asked for some crazy amount of money and he sent double, I had perfected my lying skills and he bought whatever crap I told him. I had someone investigate him and I had too much evidence to bring his family down...I sent all evidences to him and made him pay heavily of course I acted like they contacted me and were threatening to expose him. Chris had refused to date me, he said I was still married and so one frustrated evening, I opened a Vlog and told my story to the world, and as expected my parents almost dis owned me for speaking out to the world and not coming to them, my father in law was very supportive, he probably did not know I knew he was the master planner, Seun is not that smart and YES we started the filing process of our divorce while I was still in Australia, my lawyer represented me. Chris and I got back together, I got ill and suddenly got a message from Seun, telling me to take care of us well'' I could swear it was an error and then I realised I was five weeks pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't for Chris, Seun switched my pills, the bastard knew I was playing him, he's probably tailing me here. Seun was not that dumb after all. I now know what it means to be at a crossroad, I just don't know what to do.....
I met Seun in my first year in the University, I never liked him but he saved my life, there was know better way of showing gratitude than agreeing to be his, I liked the idea and coped with all his excesses and I knew my place, maybe I thought he would get tired and leave a boring girl like me alone but he did not and families got to meet, lets just say after my parents got their new titles and my sister got a job in Chevron, there was nothing in this world that could stop me from marrying him, I loved the idea, the cars, wealth, attention, p-o-w-e-r, guards, maids. I never imagined I would want to give it up for anything in the world.............................then I found Love in England, I think the attraction was the surname, I had thought they were related, they are not even from the same state, then we became friends. Chris completes me, he is Christian, very hard working though from a wealthy home, politeness and humility runs through his veins, now please why would I ever leave him alone and choose to be with a lazy drunk who does nothing but squanders money on different islands with different girls, women and men of similar minds but thinking of it, its a small price to pay....he saved my life, that was my consolation line before Chris Ajayi came into my life. I now know its better to be dead than living without Chris. I s--in-c-er--ly cannot explain how we got this deep but I know it sure hurts him more, that I will never be his..... we came up with a plan.
I already sold the idea to my husband and he bought it, a Phd in Germany, infact we already had our admission letters, we would live together, then I would do a post doctorate degree, anything to keep me and Chris united, we agreed to stay off calls till my honey moon was over, which was fine by me. On a very sunny Saturday evening, I got a text from my own, it was drafted like an advert by the way I stored his name as Konga online, just incase hubby went snooping, I knew it meant call me, I did and the shocker of my life came, Chris told me to face my marriage, he couldn't deal anymore. he preferred the 'eloping' option but my father in law is evil, he has guys planted all over planet earth and we would be picked in less than a day if we explored that option. He told me he was gone for good, cut the call and I never got through to him again, he deleted all his social media accounts and with him being an only child, I had no sibling to call, he mentioned one cousin, but I really couldn't remember a name to search for and calling any old class mates would just bring unnecessary attention, need I add there are a million 'Ajayi's' in the world, I would not make any headway in the search, even if i tried.
I was lonely, sad, had earned the trophy wife title so easily, I had started my own company, was successful, had my circle, drank heavily, my husband on the other hand did nothing, his father blessed me heartily, I took pills to prevent me from conceiving, my company was my only source of joy but no one noticed how unhappy I had become, the world admired my cars, rings, hairs and other material things, I was their prayer point, I once warned a friend 'be careful what you prayed for'. I was about to go on air for an interview, when a message popped on my telegram, It was a video of 'Ebuka'!!!!!!!!!! I actually fell down flat because he was supposed to be dead, I managed to rush up the interview being the professional I was trained to be, I ran to my car and called the number back and it was Chris, a mixture of love, hate, anger and sweetness took over. I got my Visa and was on the next flight to Australia, that was where Chris ran to. I walked into the lecture room, Ebuka almost fainted when he saw me, the truth unfolded and I realised I had been played, someone had read me like a book and used it against me.
Ebuka was my first boyfriend in University, he was Seun's best friend, rumour had it they were gay, I confronted him, he denied it and I believed, on this fateful afternoon, I went to his house without informing him, I caught them both in the act, that was the most disgusting thing I ever saw, I was about to leave when Ebuka held me, all I did was push him, he landed on the wall and alas he was dead or so I thought....I remember Seun calling his father to help clear the body and they did....so how Chris found him alive in Australia was still a big shock to me. Ebuka explained it was planned, Seun paid him heavily and he agreed to it, he wanted to marry a good girl, that would be indebted to him and live with his bi-sexual issues and I did because of fear of prison. I cannot believe he had me wrapped round his finger all this while and here I was feeling guilty for loving another...
I knew one thing for certain, I needed to cash out big before leaving the bastard, so I asked for some crazy amount of money and he sent double, I had perfected my lying skills and he bought whatever crap I told him. I had someone investigate him and I had too much evidence to bring his family down...I sent all evidences to him and made him pay heavily of course I acted like they contacted me and were threatening to expose him. Chris had refused to date me, he said I was still married and so one frustrated evening, I opened a Vlog and told my story to the world, and as expected my parents almost dis owned me for speaking out to the world and not coming to them, my father in law was very supportive, he probably did not know I knew he was the master planner, Seun is not that smart and YES we started the filing process of our divorce while I was still in Australia, my lawyer represented me. Chris and I got back together, I got ill and suddenly got a message from Seun, telling me to take care of us well'' I could swear it was an error and then I realised I was five weeks pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn't for Chris, Seun switched my pills, the bastard knew I was playing him, he's probably tailing me here. Seun was not that dumb after all. I now know what it means to be at a crossroad, I just don't know what to do.....
Monday, 9 January 2017
WISDOM IN PRACTICE
I told him it was over, that was probably my one thousandth time of singing that to his tympanic membrane, the only thing is that he did not have the time to observe was that the law of 'diminishing returns' had kicked in from the very first time I uttered those words but what could he care? It was just a 'flirtationship' more like a 'crushingship' that had no bearing. I left because I was done waiting for him to come on board and more importantly because I needed us to remain friends, he has some very powerful friends in the advertising industry and I need his connect to keep getting referrals, so I just stopped calling, the only time he remembers I am on planet earth, is when he has some free time and that happens very rarely as he claims his bank job consumes all his time and me too I have decided to get busy. I know he is not cheating but committing to anyone is not on his agenda and the frequent divorce and separation cases that keep springing up, has not helped him at all, the truth is I went into whatever it was we had because we were on the same page, I had dated my ex for a really long time and his 'diamond ring' to me was to date a distant friend, though he apologised and all, I couldn't bring myself to such disrespect, I left, then tried dating again, this time the Uncle involved cheated with a close friend, I picked myself, smiled and ran as fast as I could, then some other dude tried to repeat the same thing then I decided to press pause, smile, eat more cake and focus on more important things. My crush was there to hold my hand and most times he made those moments feel like magic... no promises, no lies, just us, no third parties and most of all no commitments. we could go on for days without any form of communication but when we do ehn our catch up game is strong. I guess I healed but he didn't, I cant wait forever for him to use his brain neither can I ask him out or throw myself at him, I think the hair on my head scream I love him loud enough and if he cannot catch the message........
I am a forensic accountant, I just acquired the forensic title though, my colleague and I were sponsored, we filled company feed back form and indicated we would be glad if the organisation sponsored us and God did it, the CFO approved it and we were the only two that got sponsorship and promoted infact we got a new office and a salary raise, 2016 was the bomb for us and as expected, the other accountants went green with jealousy. I walked into my office on a beautiful Wednesday morning, and behold a beautiful bunch of roses and this amazing coconut red velvet cake greeted me with an aroma that gave me life, like I received a hug from my Crush.... I knew it wasn't for me, Femi Phillips never thought me worthy of a surprise like this and I am very positive he hasn't even noticed I had left him for good. It was Jane's, my colleague, her boyfriend can gift for Africa, the funny thing is that they had a break in transmission in their relationship that lasted two good years and they are back together like He never left, I for one would never date an ex because I feel they never change, they only become better at the pretence game, you should only date them if you can turn a blind eye to their bad habit but the truth is some bad habits would open the blind eyes wide, never to be close again. We were having the time of our life, eating cake and chatting away, when my phone rang, and the caller was our CFO he had just summoned us to his office, I knew we were in big trouble, why didn't he use the intercom? what have we done? Jane already said we were going to be fired and I believed her.
One of the "jealous'' accountant decided to take his job too seriously and make us look incompetent and uncovered some irregularities in the account, now we are saddled with the responsibility of looking into the accounts from inception and we are looking at fifty something years of financial statements, ledgers and whatever paper has figures on them. The crazy part is that he gave us only two weeks to uncover the fraud and bring the offenders to book. I was very mad and so was Jane, infact I had to move into her house, we barely slept, Femi called on one of those nights, I was extremely glad, I could use his voice to ease the stress, Jane wanted me to tell him how much I missed him but I did no such thing, he did not even notice, I had given us some space well there was no 'us' so know hard feelings, he informed me his friends in the advertising circle want to meet me in person as there was a high chance they could employ me as their model, I thanked him for the opportunity and fixed a meeting on Saturday evening. Amazing events had began to occur at work, the most senior accountant had resigned and I wondered why management would even accept his resignation at this crucial time when an investigation is on-going?
It was Femi' O'clock and I met him at the address sent, met his friends, they seemed nice and were on board with working with me, they wanted me to hire a manager so I do not feel cheated after signing the contract and I told them, I was quite familiar with these kind of contracts, it was not my first job, I realised Femi had been quite so I turned to find out if he dropped off planet earth and to my greatest surprise he was on his knees with a sliver shinning ring the exact picture of some ring we saw some point in time when we were surfing the web. I was shocked, I did not see this coming, I spilled my drink, I cried and laughed at the same time, he was still on his knees, then his friends were taking pictures. so I pulled him up and hugged him, the whole advertising job thing was a plan, his friends left us to have our "we time" and I carefully pulled the ring off my finger and gave it back to him. My heart was racing but I found strength to tell him how I couldn't be with someone who is emotionally unavailable, the only reason you put this ring on my finger is not because you want to build an empire with me but because you .......... I paused looked at him and said Femi you need fixing and there is no way in the world. I'll walk down the aisle with you when I know I would never be priority with you. It took almost seven months of me not calling you before you realise I left and instead of you to apologise and let us talk about how to start right, you throw a ring I like at me and you expect that to fix us. It won't and well my taste has changed, but you are to busy being a banker to know what I really like. I walked out feeling good, for the first time in my life I was logical and not emotional, naaa, I have been a logical person since jor how else do I explain, how I walked out of previous relationships. I really should give myself some more credit... I really should.
Jane was mad, very mad, she could almost kill me for walking out on Femi, she said he would change and all, I just kept on looking at the books of account, while she blabbed on, I don't believe in putting the cart before the horse, It always comes back to bite hard!!!! I put all my energy into finding the errors, I barely ate, I was hurting but I was glad I had closed the Femi chapter of my life and was more determined to unravel this fraud mystery, I had become an accountant because I wanted to channel my hurt into something challenging, I aced all my ACCA exams in flying colours, God sure compensated me for my hurt, my undergraduate programme was in business administration but somehow Jesus did it and I am now a chartered forensic accountant. I saw the ex the other day and he was nothing to write home about, I never thought a day would come that I would be grateful 'he broke my heart' but it did.
I unravelled the fraud, the money was being paid to an account for some unexplained service, Jane looked up the company and realised the company was owned by our CFO's brother, the company is using this medium to evade tax and yet our CFO spends a great deal of energy insulting the government for not providing social amenities, I wonder where the government is supposed to get money to provide that, when rich people like him evade tax. Jane also discovered we had unexplained increase in revenue without a proportionate increase in production or services, so we think the CFO has been increasing profit with the funds diverted to his brother's account. we were in the dark as to why, he would put us into all this stress only to expose him. then we realised his brother had betrayed him, so he could know longer increase revenue, hence our profits were declining. we were confused on how to report the issue, or how can we tell a thief, that the thief has stolen and expect the thief to congratulate us or did he want to find out if we knew his secret? we showed him we were smarter, we traced the missing figures the other "jealous accountant'' discovered to omission of depreciation of some items and it was perfect, we also spotted some errors like wrong class of account. we stated that the reason for dwindling profits was partly due to use of obsolescence in machines, lack of invention of new products and poor advertisement.
He congratulated Jane and I for a job well done, what he did not know was that we had sent out our resumes and we were job haunting already as we would not be a part of an organisation that had reached her end. I had already attended two interviews and Jane had already turned in her resignation letter, she would be relocating to the United Kingdom with her boo as he already got a job there. I got home one rainy Monday evening and met Femi at my door, this time he brought flowers, I let him in and the words that fell from his mouth landed me in shock Island. I am a father, Cynthia..... and I couldn't commit to you or let you into my life because my son is dying of sickle cell, that's where I spend my midnights and evening, his mum thought she was AA, that was an error a crazy one, the doctor made, the sad part is I am the only one paying for it as her parents had sent her abroad after she gave birth and left my family and I to deal with the pain. I am sorry, I did not tell you, I tried to... but that was the day we had that conversation about women that married men that had kids and you made it clear you couldn't, you were very emphatic with your words... you said it was a deal breaker for you. I wasn't ready to loose you and I still am not. I just slid into the chair and my fingers gave way for the flowers to kiss the ground.........
I am a forensic accountant, I just acquired the forensic title though, my colleague and I were sponsored, we filled company feed back form and indicated we would be glad if the organisation sponsored us and God did it, the CFO approved it and we were the only two that got sponsorship and promoted infact we got a new office and a salary raise, 2016 was the bomb for us and as expected, the other accountants went green with jealousy. I walked into my office on a beautiful Wednesday morning, and behold a beautiful bunch of roses and this amazing coconut red velvet cake greeted me with an aroma that gave me life, like I received a hug from my Crush.... I knew it wasn't for me, Femi Phillips never thought me worthy of a surprise like this and I am very positive he hasn't even noticed I had left him for good. It was Jane's, my colleague, her boyfriend can gift for Africa, the funny thing is that they had a break in transmission in their relationship that lasted two good years and they are back together like He never left, I for one would never date an ex because I feel they never change, they only become better at the pretence game, you should only date them if you can turn a blind eye to their bad habit but the truth is some bad habits would open the blind eyes wide, never to be close again. We were having the time of our life, eating cake and chatting away, when my phone rang, and the caller was our CFO he had just summoned us to his office, I knew we were in big trouble, why didn't he use the intercom? what have we done? Jane already said we were going to be fired and I believed her.
One of the "jealous'' accountant decided to take his job too seriously and make us look incompetent and uncovered some irregularities in the account, now we are saddled with the responsibility of looking into the accounts from inception and we are looking at fifty something years of financial statements, ledgers and whatever paper has figures on them. The crazy part is that he gave us only two weeks to uncover the fraud and bring the offenders to book. I was very mad and so was Jane, infact I had to move into her house, we barely slept, Femi called on one of those nights, I was extremely glad, I could use his voice to ease the stress, Jane wanted me to tell him how much I missed him but I did no such thing, he did not even notice, I had given us some space well there was no 'us' so know hard feelings, he informed me his friends in the advertising circle want to meet me in person as there was a high chance they could employ me as their model, I thanked him for the opportunity and fixed a meeting on Saturday evening. Amazing events had began to occur at work, the most senior accountant had resigned and I wondered why management would even accept his resignation at this crucial time when an investigation is on-going?
It was Femi' O'clock and I met him at the address sent, met his friends, they seemed nice and were on board with working with me, they wanted me to hire a manager so I do not feel cheated after signing the contract and I told them, I was quite familiar with these kind of contracts, it was not my first job, I realised Femi had been quite so I turned to find out if he dropped off planet earth and to my greatest surprise he was on his knees with a sliver shinning ring the exact picture of some ring we saw some point in time when we were surfing the web. I was shocked, I did not see this coming, I spilled my drink, I cried and laughed at the same time, he was still on his knees, then his friends were taking pictures. so I pulled him up and hugged him, the whole advertising job thing was a plan, his friends left us to have our "we time" and I carefully pulled the ring off my finger and gave it back to him. My heart was racing but I found strength to tell him how I couldn't be with someone who is emotionally unavailable, the only reason you put this ring on my finger is not because you want to build an empire with me but because you .......... I paused looked at him and said Femi you need fixing and there is no way in the world. I'll walk down the aisle with you when I know I would never be priority with you. It took almost seven months of me not calling you before you realise I left and instead of you to apologise and let us talk about how to start right, you throw a ring I like at me and you expect that to fix us. It won't and well my taste has changed, but you are to busy being a banker to know what I really like. I walked out feeling good, for the first time in my life I was logical and not emotional, naaa, I have been a logical person since jor how else do I explain, how I walked out of previous relationships. I really should give myself some more credit... I really should.
Jane was mad, very mad, she could almost kill me for walking out on Femi, she said he would change and all, I just kept on looking at the books of account, while she blabbed on, I don't believe in putting the cart before the horse, It always comes back to bite hard!!!! I put all my energy into finding the errors, I barely ate, I was hurting but I was glad I had closed the Femi chapter of my life and was more determined to unravel this fraud mystery, I had become an accountant because I wanted to channel my hurt into something challenging, I aced all my ACCA exams in flying colours, God sure compensated me for my hurt, my undergraduate programme was in business administration but somehow Jesus did it and I am now a chartered forensic accountant. I saw the ex the other day and he was nothing to write home about, I never thought a day would come that I would be grateful 'he broke my heart' but it did.
I unravelled the fraud, the money was being paid to an account for some unexplained service, Jane looked up the company and realised the company was owned by our CFO's brother, the company is using this medium to evade tax and yet our CFO spends a great deal of energy insulting the government for not providing social amenities, I wonder where the government is supposed to get money to provide that, when rich people like him evade tax. Jane also discovered we had unexplained increase in revenue without a proportionate increase in production or services, so we think the CFO has been increasing profit with the funds diverted to his brother's account. we were in the dark as to why, he would put us into all this stress only to expose him. then we realised his brother had betrayed him, so he could know longer increase revenue, hence our profits were declining. we were confused on how to report the issue, or how can we tell a thief, that the thief has stolen and expect the thief to congratulate us or did he want to find out if we knew his secret? we showed him we were smarter, we traced the missing figures the other "jealous accountant'' discovered to omission of depreciation of some items and it was perfect, we also spotted some errors like wrong class of account. we stated that the reason for dwindling profits was partly due to use of obsolescence in machines, lack of invention of new products and poor advertisement.
He congratulated Jane and I for a job well done, what he did not know was that we had sent out our resumes and we were job haunting already as we would not be a part of an organisation that had reached her end. I had already attended two interviews and Jane had already turned in her resignation letter, she would be relocating to the United Kingdom with her boo as he already got a job there. I got home one rainy Monday evening and met Femi at my door, this time he brought flowers, I let him in and the words that fell from his mouth landed me in shock Island. I am a father, Cynthia..... and I couldn't commit to you or let you into my life because my son is dying of sickle cell, that's where I spend my midnights and evening, his mum thought she was AA, that was an error a crazy one, the doctor made, the sad part is I am the only one paying for it as her parents had sent her abroad after she gave birth and left my family and I to deal with the pain. I am sorry, I did not tell you, I tried to... but that was the day we had that conversation about women that married men that had kids and you made it clear you couldn't, you were very emphatic with your words... you said it was a deal breaker for you. I wasn't ready to loose you and I still am not. I just slid into the chair and my fingers gave way for the flowers to kiss the ground.........
Tuesday, 3 January 2017
TIME OUT WITH ELSIE: Medical Drama 2
TIME OUT WITH ELSIE: Medical Drama 2: CONTINUED FROM THE LAST BLOG POST...... I slowly looked through Cynthia's pictures and there my husband was in sixty percent of them, ...
Tuesday, 13 December 2016
Medical Drama 2
CONTINUED FROM THE LAST BLOG POST......
I slowly looked through Cynthia's pictures and there my husband was in sixty percent of them, infact they have more pictures together than we do and from the look of things she's one of those, my husband chose me over, the sad part is, I only got the ring, this Cynthia woman seems to have his heart, and even the children that I carried in my own womb, how can he name my girls after her? Akinola must be damn right MAD!!!!!!!!!!! how dare him? It's crazy enough that he is a sweet cheat, because up until now I thought the idiot was a saint, I bless God for him everyday, not even a simply trace of his adulterous self and yet he goes to church lifting unholy and cursed hands to God.....ha. AKINOLA A GBA....... (this means I will deal with him).
I packed my things and head straight home but not before opening another facebook account and sending my husband's mistress a friend request, she accepted and I began my full time job of stalking her. I need to get more evidence because his parents and our pastor must be informed, and divorcing him doesn't seem like a no go area because I am deeply wounded. I do not give a flying hoot about what the world would say, all I know is no man would turn me into a fool, I must let the world know that Akinola is just a pretender and to think we are both marriage counsellors in church.... I don't even which one of his offences is hitting me hard, the fact that he is a cheat or the name part. The media is right, men are devils and those of us married to the Yoruba clan might be harbouring demons in our lives, I went to my kitchen made food and added plenty of pepper to his portion. In less than an hour, he was back but he just came home to pack a few things, he had to travel for a business meeting in Enugu, this was not unusual but my already burning self would not let me do my duties as a wife, he called when he got to his hotel room and I managed to say a few wifely words.
Being a detective is not an easy job but I was learning fast, I had to catch up on Cynthia's old post as I got busy with work and all, we had a major surgery and to God be the glory it was successful, Tracy was still bitter but she managed to loosen up a bit after the surgery, my investigative self found out that my darling husband and Cynthia were in the same location, her brother was getting married and my husband attended, though he ran it by me when he called in the evening, he just did not mention the fact his so called friend was a blast from the past.....and this is the man I call my own. I must be crowned the queen of all naive women. I cried my eyes out even my colleagues knew something was wrong, I was forced to confide in Tracy and that's something I would never have done, no offence I think her reasoning ability had packed a long time ago but here I was shattered, my husband was my best friend, how could I have confided in him, when he is the reason for my tears. Tracy was shocked and offered to help, she found out she had common friends with Cynthia, facebook makes that very easy and in a matter of days, I was informed that my husband and Cynthia were once engaged to be married and they had never stopped being friends, some are of the opinion that they are still lovers and might elope soon, that information eliminated whatever love I had for my husband and I found myself googling incognito the names of the best divorce lawyers, I could afford.... Isn't life crazy!!! I used to be against divorce now I am seriously searching for it.
My husband got back and I treated him to an amazing meal, he collapsed after eating the very first portion, I quickly flushed down the remaining, washed the plate and then staged a new plate of food with a cut in the pounded yam that looked like the portion he swallowed before screaming for help from the neighbours, he was eventually rushed to the hospital. The doctor told me he would be fine but it might take a while because his blood pressure was high and his tongue had been injured badly. I looked at him on the bed, he looked almost lifeless, I became scared of myself, I...I had become a dangerous and bitter woman, I successfully poured a big bowl of salt into the portion of stew my husband ate from because I wanted revenge, what if he had died? what is wrong with me? what happened to the forgiveness I preach? How did I even get to this place of anger and murder?
I cried beside my husband bed, like a child who had been asked to repeat the term, the nurse had to drag me away and comforted me saying he would be fine, unknown to her, I caused myself the pain I now feel.
Sleep was a luxury I could not afford, I wondered why divorce was the first thing that came to my mind, why I did not think about talking to my husband? why I did not even talk to God about it and why I chose Tracy? well maybe I knew she would give me what I wanted to hear, I search google incognito so that just incase my husband develops complications from my already conceived plans the police would find nothing on me when they start snooping. I still wanted a divorce though but this time I was sorry for my actions, I remember during one of my counselling meeting with a troubled couple, I asked them why they got married and it led them to tears, it was my turn to answer that question and instead of tears, it led me into a state of confusion. I was rounding up my National youth service programme, when my I met my husband, we dated for almost nineteen months and we got married. I got married because I wanted kids and it was the next step in my life, the society tells us that after university and a job, marriage is the next point of call and I heeded it. little wonder I was quick to jump on the divorce train when a little challenge came to play, after all the society does not exactly preach patience in marital matters.
My husband got well and I decided to do what was right, I confronted him and he let me in, Cynthia was his ex, the attraction to her was the name, he had an aunt who died while he was young, her name was Cynthia and Hannah, the exact names his ex had on her birth certificate,he had promised to name his children after her because she had no offspring of her own, they were engaged to be married and it was after the introduction that they discovered they were both AS and they had no choice but to cancel the wedding. Cynthia acted all fine till she decided to slit her wrist after her new boyfriend impregnated another woman, my husband was called to help talk to her, the visits and hangouts were mere friendly visit, he was scared to tell me because he knew I might not approve of it. He apologised and I felt very ashamed of myself. I was quick to run out of the window when it was time to take the marital test, the society is quick to make us believe we are fools for taking the forgiveness lane but be rest assured that the society is as confused as the one facing the problem, I also got to realise the reason why divorce has become a norm is because we marry for wrong reasons. I married because I wanted kids and it was the next thing to do after getting after-all that's what the society tell us and alas when the storm came I was quick to head out because I had kids already. I knew I had to go back to the drawing board and re sketch my drawing. I am just glad we were able to mend our cracked walls without leaving a dent.
The news that greeted me on Monday at work was one worthy of cinema viewing, Bassey had not only impregnated Damola but also impregnated Tracy( after the embarrassment he gave her, some months back, this girl still went back to him) and to crown it up he impregnated my medical director's seventeen year old daughter. My medical director gave him the beating of his life and got his army friends to lock him up in a cell, only to find out that Bassey was a product of his illicit affair while he was serving in Calabar, many years ago.........
I slowly looked through Cynthia's pictures and there my husband was in sixty percent of them, infact they have more pictures together than we do and from the look of things she's one of those, my husband chose me over, the sad part is, I only got the ring, this Cynthia woman seems to have his heart, and even the children that I carried in my own womb, how can he name my girls after her? Akinola must be damn right MAD!!!!!!!!!!! how dare him? It's crazy enough that he is a sweet cheat, because up until now I thought the idiot was a saint, I bless God for him everyday, not even a simply trace of his adulterous self and yet he goes to church lifting unholy and cursed hands to God.....ha. AKINOLA A GBA....... (this means I will deal with him).
I packed my things and head straight home but not before opening another facebook account and sending my husband's mistress a friend request, she accepted and I began my full time job of stalking her. I need to get more evidence because his parents and our pastor must be informed, and divorcing him doesn't seem like a no go area because I am deeply wounded. I do not give a flying hoot about what the world would say, all I know is no man would turn me into a fool, I must let the world know that Akinola is just a pretender and to think we are both marriage counsellors in church.... I don't even which one of his offences is hitting me hard, the fact that he is a cheat or the name part. The media is right, men are devils and those of us married to the Yoruba clan might be harbouring demons in our lives, I went to my kitchen made food and added plenty of pepper to his portion. In less than an hour, he was back but he just came home to pack a few things, he had to travel for a business meeting in Enugu, this was not unusual but my already burning self would not let me do my duties as a wife, he called when he got to his hotel room and I managed to say a few wifely words.
Being a detective is not an easy job but I was learning fast, I had to catch up on Cynthia's old post as I got busy with work and all, we had a major surgery and to God be the glory it was successful, Tracy was still bitter but she managed to loosen up a bit after the surgery, my investigative self found out that my darling husband and Cynthia were in the same location, her brother was getting married and my husband attended, though he ran it by me when he called in the evening, he just did not mention the fact his so called friend was a blast from the past.....and this is the man I call my own. I must be crowned the queen of all naive women. I cried my eyes out even my colleagues knew something was wrong, I was forced to confide in Tracy and that's something I would never have done, no offence I think her reasoning ability had packed a long time ago but here I was shattered, my husband was my best friend, how could I have confided in him, when he is the reason for my tears. Tracy was shocked and offered to help, she found out she had common friends with Cynthia, facebook makes that very easy and in a matter of days, I was informed that my husband and Cynthia were once engaged to be married and they had never stopped being friends, some are of the opinion that they are still lovers and might elope soon, that information eliminated whatever love I had for my husband and I found myself googling incognito the names of the best divorce lawyers, I could afford.... Isn't life crazy!!! I used to be against divorce now I am seriously searching for it.
My husband got back and I treated him to an amazing meal, he collapsed after eating the very first portion, I quickly flushed down the remaining, washed the plate and then staged a new plate of food with a cut in the pounded yam that looked like the portion he swallowed before screaming for help from the neighbours, he was eventually rushed to the hospital. The doctor told me he would be fine but it might take a while because his blood pressure was high and his tongue had been injured badly. I looked at him on the bed, he looked almost lifeless, I became scared of myself, I...I had become a dangerous and bitter woman, I successfully poured a big bowl of salt into the portion of stew my husband ate from because I wanted revenge, what if he had died? what is wrong with me? what happened to the forgiveness I preach? How did I even get to this place of anger and murder?
I cried beside my husband bed, like a child who had been asked to repeat the term, the nurse had to drag me away and comforted me saying he would be fine, unknown to her, I caused myself the pain I now feel.
Sleep was a luxury I could not afford, I wondered why divorce was the first thing that came to my mind, why I did not think about talking to my husband? why I did not even talk to God about it and why I chose Tracy? well maybe I knew she would give me what I wanted to hear, I search google incognito so that just incase my husband develops complications from my already conceived plans the police would find nothing on me when they start snooping. I still wanted a divorce though but this time I was sorry for my actions, I remember during one of my counselling meeting with a troubled couple, I asked them why they got married and it led them to tears, it was my turn to answer that question and instead of tears, it led me into a state of confusion. I was rounding up my National youth service programme, when my I met my husband, we dated for almost nineteen months and we got married. I got married because I wanted kids and it was the next step in my life, the society tells us that after university and a job, marriage is the next point of call and I heeded it. little wonder I was quick to jump on the divorce train when a little challenge came to play, after all the society does not exactly preach patience in marital matters.
My husband got well and I decided to do what was right, I confronted him and he let me in, Cynthia was his ex, the attraction to her was the name, he had an aunt who died while he was young, her name was Cynthia and Hannah, the exact names his ex had on her birth certificate,he had promised to name his children after her because she had no offspring of her own, they were engaged to be married and it was after the introduction that they discovered they were both AS and they had no choice but to cancel the wedding. Cynthia acted all fine till she decided to slit her wrist after her new boyfriend impregnated another woman, my husband was called to help talk to her, the visits and hangouts were mere friendly visit, he was scared to tell me because he knew I might not approve of it. He apologised and I felt very ashamed of myself. I was quick to run out of the window when it was time to take the marital test, the society is quick to make us believe we are fools for taking the forgiveness lane but be rest assured that the society is as confused as the one facing the problem, I also got to realise the reason why divorce has become a norm is because we marry for wrong reasons. I married because I wanted kids and it was the next thing to do after getting after-all that's what the society tell us and alas when the storm came I was quick to head out because I had kids already. I knew I had to go back to the drawing board and re sketch my drawing. I am just glad we were able to mend our cracked walls without leaving a dent.
The news that greeted me on Monday at work was one worthy of cinema viewing, Bassey had not only impregnated Damola but also impregnated Tracy( after the embarrassment he gave her, some months back, this girl still went back to him) and to crown it up he impregnated my medical director's seventeen year old daughter. My medical director gave him the beating of his life and got his army friends to lock him up in a cell, only to find out that Bassey was a product of his illicit affair while he was serving in Calabar, many years ago.........
Thursday, 10 November 2016
MEDICAL DRAMA
I had barely even balanced on my chair before this Dr. Seun of a man shoved his aso-ebi in my face, what is this one for I asked as I unwrapped the material, its actually my favourite colour, g-o-o-d-n-e-s-s!!!!!!!!!!! my heart knew I was surely buying this one, even though it meant my husband and I would have to speak small Spanish, my woman power must definitely come to play to win this battle considering we just had to settle school fees, family issues, small shopping for ourselves and the rent, buying anything should not even be on my mind, but this material is screaming my name and I have already answered. I had already thought about the style and the matching shoe and bag mehn!!! Bella Naija must notice my picture on Instagram. Dr Seun's voice brought me back to reality when he answered and said, it's for my wedding.... I paused, dropped the material, gave him a long look, when I realised, he looked serious then I stood and asked. Are you remarrying your wife? I mean Lola the mother of your two children? he said No. then I packed the dress handed it back to him and gave him a piece of my mind. so Seun after she caught you in bed with another woman, the best way to mend the crack in your wall is by marrying another?????????????? who is even the pastor or Imam joining you both, please I cannot attend such, Seun whispered something that sounded like Lola was too diffcult. Life is difficult too, every aspect of life, from school to housemanship, marriage, even surgeries can be crazy sometimes, why have you not quit being a surgeon or even life, abi you do not know how to poison yourself, I could help you, we both know its just an injection away..... call this sham off and get your wife and kids back, you can then, throw a reunion party and I will gladly buy the dress and spray you money but for me to buy aso-ebi for second wife tins in this recession, ogbeni ko le werk!!!!!!!! besides I would not want my husband to do such to me, so I cannot attend and any junior doctor that attends should get ready for me, arrant rubbish, how can people be attending such? encouraging promiscuity mschew..
I had plans to enjoy my day at work by visiting all the social networks I belong too, then this yeye Seun made me dissipate energy on mumu matter, I balanced on my sit and began first with facebook, the network was pretty slow, everyone in my office had time for social matters because for the first time in years we were done with our surgeries for the month and hopefully we would have the remaining days of the month to ourselves, we do not pray for emergency, we sef don taya to dey see blood, we want to watch movies, hang out like regular people even though I still have to read up on some latest discoveries in medicine, learning truly never ends......as I raised up my eyes to see why every one became so quiet, I realised a proposal was about to pass me by, Dr Bassey the cassinova of Africa knelt down and asked a new member of staff, Damola to marry him, infact I thought they had broken up because..........(we would come back to that gist later) it took some minutes before she said YES!!! but she did and we took pictures, Bassey was over joyed, who wouldnt be? Damola is Smart, Pretty, Classy, a fashionista, God-fearing, very sociable infact I wonder why she ever dated Bassey in the first place because I know she is smart enough to spot a 'Calabar demon' anyways its her choice and we were still taking pictures of the couple when we heard.... GBUAIIII!!GBUAIII YOU MUST BE MAD!!!!! that was the next thing we all heard, we all peeped out from the window and alas we saw Dr Tracy smashing Dr Bassey's windscreen with every strength in her, Dr Bassey rushed out and if not for the timely intervention of our security, I would probably be trying to revive him from coma. we all rushed out, I pulled Tracy, collected the stone from her hand and took her into the inner chamber of my office and gave her water to calm down because she has to narrate why she is rehearsing madness abi she wants to terminate her appointment.
Ma, Bassey is a fool, he----he broke up with me to be with Damola, we were dating, then suddenly he shifted attention to her, I confronted him and he said they were just friends and today he had the nerve to get on his knees and buy her a ring!!!!!!!!!!! I cant take it, I had to make him loose something valuable and I am not done with him, how dare him propose to her??? What does he take me for? I shook my head for her in my mind, there are truly three sides to a story, let me tell you the unbiased version. Bassey loves women, you don't need to look deeply before you dig it out, he had even tried to hit on me before, his case is that critical, your wedding ring aint know barrier, then Damola came into the picture and he changed a bit, even though they never admitted to us, they were an item but we knew there was more to the friendship, infact this yeye Tracy girl accused them severally of dating though they denied it, their eyes had a way of saying the truth their lips wanted to hide. Bassey and Tracy had been colleagues for a while and they were never close buddies oooooo, but she and Damola were pretty close, she started to dress well, infact I noticed she changed bra sef so that she can be as trendy as this our fashionista Damola, then suddenly Bassey and Damola were not so close though they managed to exchange pleasantries and madam Tracy was his latest acquisition..... now Bassey's eyes have cleared or maybe he truly misses her and he proposed to the one he loves even though I sincerely think he doesn't deserve her but Tracy deserved the humiliation, infact na wedding Bassey suppose use shock am and then she sits here and narrates the story as if she is the victim, hmmm well, Bassey is the bastard here I agree, but why let yourself be fooled by a bastard? I calmed her down and as usual being my blunt self, I told her the truth she already knew, though it was hard to come to terms with it especially when Bassey was the only guy to ask her out in years..she saw this as her opportunity and decided to maximise it, forgetting that a leopard never changes its spot.
Damola walked in on us, I could see her struggling not to laugh, then she said to her, next time dear, please burn his house or something that would cost him because his insurance company would fix that windscreen in some days.... Tracy annoyingly walked out on us. My expression showed her how worried I was about the ring on her finger, then she whispered to me and said Ma, I only accepted this ring for children purposes, after I get two, he'll get served by my lawyers. I looked at her in amzement, Ma, the man I truly want to be with has fertility issues that only a miracle can make him father. children, so I picked Bassey to father children for him, I know you might say its not fair on him but he too has been unfair to a lot of women, besides he cheated with Tracy and revenge is best served steaming hot, she smiled and walked gracefully back into our open office. I dragged myself to my system and was pondering on stage play that just happened, I finally got to facebook, my darling husband posted a picture of himself at work, one Cynthia commented, curiosity made me check her page and It dawned on me that my husband had named our two daughters after his ex-girlfriend or are they still dating?????????????????????
INSTAGRAM HANDLE: @temielsie
TWITTER HANDLE: @olaoluwaumukoro
I had plans to enjoy my day at work by visiting all the social networks I belong too, then this yeye Seun made me dissipate energy on mumu matter, I balanced on my sit and began first with facebook, the network was pretty slow, everyone in my office had time for social matters because for the first time in years we were done with our surgeries for the month and hopefully we would have the remaining days of the month to ourselves, we do not pray for emergency, we sef don taya to dey see blood, we want to watch movies, hang out like regular people even though I still have to read up on some latest discoveries in medicine, learning truly never ends......as I raised up my eyes to see why every one became so quiet, I realised a proposal was about to pass me by, Dr Bassey the cassinova of Africa knelt down and asked a new member of staff, Damola to marry him, infact I thought they had broken up because..........(we would come back to that gist later) it took some minutes before she said YES!!! but she did and we took pictures, Bassey was over joyed, who wouldnt be? Damola is Smart, Pretty, Classy, a fashionista, God-fearing, very sociable infact I wonder why she ever dated Bassey in the first place because I know she is smart enough to spot a 'Calabar demon' anyways its her choice and we were still taking pictures of the couple when we heard.... GBUAIIII!!GBUAIII YOU MUST BE MAD!!!!! that was the next thing we all heard, we all peeped out from the window and alas we saw Dr Tracy smashing Dr Bassey's windscreen with every strength in her, Dr Bassey rushed out and if not for the timely intervention of our security, I would probably be trying to revive him from coma. we all rushed out, I pulled Tracy, collected the stone from her hand and took her into the inner chamber of my office and gave her water to calm down because she has to narrate why she is rehearsing madness abi she wants to terminate her appointment.
Ma, Bassey is a fool, he----he broke up with me to be with Damola, we were dating, then suddenly he shifted attention to her, I confronted him and he said they were just friends and today he had the nerve to get on his knees and buy her a ring!!!!!!!!!!! I cant take it, I had to make him loose something valuable and I am not done with him, how dare him propose to her??? What does he take me for? I shook my head for her in my mind, there are truly three sides to a story, let me tell you the unbiased version. Bassey loves women, you don't need to look deeply before you dig it out, he had even tried to hit on me before, his case is that critical, your wedding ring aint know barrier, then Damola came into the picture and he changed a bit, even though they never admitted to us, they were an item but we knew there was more to the friendship, infact this yeye Tracy girl accused them severally of dating though they denied it, their eyes had a way of saying the truth their lips wanted to hide. Bassey and Tracy had been colleagues for a while and they were never close buddies oooooo, but she and Damola were pretty close, she started to dress well, infact I noticed she changed bra sef so that she can be as trendy as this our fashionista Damola, then suddenly Bassey and Damola were not so close though they managed to exchange pleasantries and madam Tracy was his latest acquisition..... now Bassey's eyes have cleared or maybe he truly misses her and he proposed to the one he loves even though I sincerely think he doesn't deserve her but Tracy deserved the humiliation, infact na wedding Bassey suppose use shock am and then she sits here and narrates the story as if she is the victim, hmmm well, Bassey is the bastard here I agree, but why let yourself be fooled by a bastard? I calmed her down and as usual being my blunt self, I told her the truth she already knew, though it was hard to come to terms with it especially when Bassey was the only guy to ask her out in years..she saw this as her opportunity and decided to maximise it, forgetting that a leopard never changes its spot.
Damola walked in on us, I could see her struggling not to laugh, then she said to her, next time dear, please burn his house or something that would cost him because his insurance company would fix that windscreen in some days.... Tracy annoyingly walked out on us. My expression showed her how worried I was about the ring on her finger, then she whispered to me and said Ma, I only accepted this ring for children purposes, after I get two, he'll get served by my lawyers. I looked at her in amzement, Ma, the man I truly want to be with has fertility issues that only a miracle can make him father. children, so I picked Bassey to father children for him, I know you might say its not fair on him but he too has been unfair to a lot of women, besides he cheated with Tracy and revenge is best served steaming hot, she smiled and walked gracefully back into our open office. I dragged myself to my system and was pondering on stage play that just happened, I finally got to facebook, my darling husband posted a picture of himself at work, one Cynthia commented, curiosity made me check her page and It dawned on me that my husband had named our two daughters after his ex-girlfriend or are they still dating?????????????????????
INSTAGRAM HANDLE: @temielsie
TWITTER HANDLE: @olaoluwaumukoro
Wednesday, 5 October 2016
WOMENCOLOGY
I am a 'Jagaban', A King Pin when it comes to womencology, I have done women in all shapes, sizes and colours, women to me are like cards, I use them to ease the stress, sometimes they come with their own baggage, what am I saying, all the time they have one craze or the other. I am not one of those that yell 'yourba demons' and have no body count to their title, I come subtle, sweet, responsible and very real, before you gain your balance I have moved on to the next one. I really cannot tell when this conquering women became a habit but I sure need to outgrow it. I used to be a book worm in school, graduated first class civil engineering, went on to do an MBA came out tops and I am a Chartered Financial Analyst, no girl reads my profile and would not hit the like button. I used to tell my friends back in school, chase your books and women would stroll in thousands, they thought I was kidding, well................... they know best now, its just that for some its too late to make amends. I switch jobs every three years, its against my policy to stay in an organisation for any period longer than that and of a truth God has been good, ermm I know you did not expect me to be christian but please don't judge me cause I commit a different sin than you do.
I sometimes feel lonely, I sometimes want a family, the truth is I feel I have frustrated all the women that could have made my house a home, I probably regret my actions but you see even if I want stop, I just cannot, there is nothing cool about being a womaniser, it destroys the soul.... na guy we dey take cover am up, we too cannot explain why we love another and deceive a thousand, we need therapy but we are too ashamed to admit it. My parents and the world at large cannot fathom why I am still single and to add fire to the already burning bush, my younger brother put a ring on his babe's finger yesternight. God knows I could almost disappear once I saw the picture on bbm and as expected family members started calling and saying the usual and for the first time in years they were right, I need to marry before they start thinking I am impotent, my immediate younger sister is married and I am a whooping five years older than she is and now our last born is taking the bold step and I am still busy forming most eligible bachelor biko I am done discovering Mungo Park. I am on the search for a wife or should I say so I thought.... I actually was shocked at what I found out, the truth is that most twenty first century women are not ready to settle down, a steady commitment partner is cool with them, they are not ready to compromise their careers and standards hmmm you would actually think you are playing them but brother its the other way round and when they know you to be a flirt, they squander your money, your time and energy and run off to a brother with a less history in women.
I love dark skinny girls, I do not want any woman looking like a bag of expired rice in my home, but all women that met that description had issues with their brain, I cannot handle women that cannot make economic conversations not everytime "Kim Kardashian". So I met this chubby dark girl, shes is every bit of fun, she is freaking playful and her weaves were screaming 'Peruvian' and she is such a fashionista, I already made up of mind she belongs to the categories of dumb beauties but then I was amazed when she and her friends began talking about the presidential debate, the average Nigerian girl would not even care to listen talk more of remember the intricate details of Trump and Clinton battle... she got me there and yes I got her number, slim tea can fix her big tummy the truth is its not so big and yea she has a healthy doze of crazy. She was at my place the next Saturday and I had so much fun, I really did not want her to leave but I knew she did not really subscribe to the idea. we got dating in less than two weeks and yes I knew I was changing her last name............................. then the past came calling and yes I lied to her on the number of girls and a couple of other things but hey I could not come clean, unknown to me that my babe is a detective, she did her proper feasibility studies and had every detail of my past. I was doing a few other girls but I was trying to change, It was not easy, bad habits can be addictive. I knew she was the one for me, shes is smart, friendly, gorgeous, free spirited, Godly, not like she's perfect but you could see the zeal to always want to do God's will and yet I was going to loose her to stupidity, foolishness.... I pray she doesn't find out. maybe I should let her into my flaws, I was scared she would run, so one night she caught me almost red handed, I lied my way out of it but I knew she just wanted peace to reign so she dropped the issue.
After six months of dating, I was thinking of putting a ring on it, then I met this hot fresh blood, Elsie was her name, she is a freaking seductress, shes a smart one too, I forgot totally about my boo and rode on her boat, I kept it secret and ensured the madam would be around when she would be turning up and I was becoming comfy with having them both for keeps and yes my younger brother's wedding was coming up and being the 'King Pin' I am, I invited them both and they both sat together, laughed, ate together and they had no clue that they were screwing the same nigga, I knew I was not going to marry Elsie because she was too into her career and some emotionally unavailable guy to give a hoot about me cheating, I was just a plaything to her though she cared about me, my Madam on the other hand is a lover of family, she balances me and her career perfectly and most of all, my family members love her. Two months after my brother's wedding, I put a ring on it though I was still on Elsie's case and then the unexpected happened. Elsie invited me to a wedding and alas my MADAM was the BRIDE.....
I sometimes feel lonely, I sometimes want a family, the truth is I feel I have frustrated all the women that could have made my house a home, I probably regret my actions but you see even if I want stop, I just cannot, there is nothing cool about being a womaniser, it destroys the soul.... na guy we dey take cover am up, we too cannot explain why we love another and deceive a thousand, we need therapy but we are too ashamed to admit it. My parents and the world at large cannot fathom why I am still single and to add fire to the already burning bush, my younger brother put a ring on his babe's finger yesternight. God knows I could almost disappear once I saw the picture on bbm and as expected family members started calling and saying the usual and for the first time in years they were right, I need to marry before they start thinking I am impotent, my immediate younger sister is married and I am a whooping five years older than she is and now our last born is taking the bold step and I am still busy forming most eligible bachelor biko I am done discovering Mungo Park. I am on the search for a wife or should I say so I thought.... I actually was shocked at what I found out, the truth is that most twenty first century women are not ready to settle down, a steady commitment partner is cool with them, they are not ready to compromise their careers and standards hmmm you would actually think you are playing them but brother its the other way round and when they know you to be a flirt, they squander your money, your time and energy and run off to a brother with a less history in women.
I love dark skinny girls, I do not want any woman looking like a bag of expired rice in my home, but all women that met that description had issues with their brain, I cannot handle women that cannot make economic conversations not everytime "Kim Kardashian". So I met this chubby dark girl, shes is every bit of fun, she is freaking playful and her weaves were screaming 'Peruvian' and she is such a fashionista, I already made up of mind she belongs to the categories of dumb beauties but then I was amazed when she and her friends began talking about the presidential debate, the average Nigerian girl would not even care to listen talk more of remember the intricate details of Trump and Clinton battle... she got me there and yes I got her number, slim tea can fix her big tummy the truth is its not so big and yea she has a healthy doze of crazy. She was at my place the next Saturday and I had so much fun, I really did not want her to leave but I knew she did not really subscribe to the idea. we got dating in less than two weeks and yes I knew I was changing her last name............................. then the past came calling and yes I lied to her on the number of girls and a couple of other things but hey I could not come clean, unknown to me that my babe is a detective, she did her proper feasibility studies and had every detail of my past. I was doing a few other girls but I was trying to change, It was not easy, bad habits can be addictive. I knew she was the one for me, shes is smart, friendly, gorgeous, free spirited, Godly, not like she's perfect but you could see the zeal to always want to do God's will and yet I was going to loose her to stupidity, foolishness.... I pray she doesn't find out. maybe I should let her into my flaws, I was scared she would run, so one night she caught me almost red handed, I lied my way out of it but I knew she just wanted peace to reign so she dropped the issue.
After six months of dating, I was thinking of putting a ring on it, then I met this hot fresh blood, Elsie was her name, she is a freaking seductress, shes a smart one too, I forgot totally about my boo and rode on her boat, I kept it secret and ensured the madam would be around when she would be turning up and I was becoming comfy with having them both for keeps and yes my younger brother's wedding was coming up and being the 'King Pin' I am, I invited them both and they both sat together, laughed, ate together and they had no clue that they were screwing the same nigga, I knew I was not going to marry Elsie because she was too into her career and some emotionally unavailable guy to give a hoot about me cheating, I was just a plaything to her though she cared about me, my Madam on the other hand is a lover of family, she balances me and her career perfectly and most of all, my family members love her. Two months after my brother's wedding, I put a ring on it though I was still on Elsie's case and then the unexpected happened. Elsie invited me to a wedding and alas my MADAM was the BRIDE.....
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