Thursday 4 February 2016

This thing called 'Depression' II

 (Continued from last post) 

I was forced to sit, the blow of the news that just flowed through my tympanic membrane had weakened my knees. Joan fixed her gaze at me as tears rolled down my eyes uncontrollably. She just stood still, What did your mum have to say? She laughed really hard, she was always on one trip or the other keeping public appearances, especially when he was governor, besides I am not their biological daughter, I was adopted so they screwed me daily. Joan (I said calmly) you need to speak to someone, you need to heal. I am healed already dear at least I am not in some lunatic centre strapped up on any bed. I.... (She cut in) well my psyche might be messed up but I am doing awesomestastically above normal besides we all have what we deal with. Joan but you know you can't keep shopping to make you happy. I can doc!!! (She wiped my tears) Designers go the extra mile to make beautiful designs that satisfies the soul, (she smiled) you need Jesus, I said (she gave me daggers) I don't do religion, my dad is Christian and my uncle is Muslim, yet they both defiled me at a young age, that is not in tandem with any of the holy books!!! Their actions does not kosher with the teachings of their faith, besides Christianity is not a religion, it's a way of life... I try to read the bible... Maybe... That's why I still have a bit of sanity.... (She snaps into another mood) lets go get dressed our movie is starting soon... I already got the tickets. (In my mind) This girl needs help real soon.

The day was an eventful one, I kept thinking of how many shopaholics I knew and kept pondering on the real reason they loved to throw money around, I remembered Demilade and how he loved to get more degrees and make more money, could there be a reason for this? I cast my mind back to when I was in medical school, I had this friend Rume, who was a lesbian, I remember her saying, her partner was the only one who showed her loved and I castigated her for it, not b-o-t-h-e-r-i-n-g to find out the root cause of her actions, maybe no one showed her love and the media depicts love as kissing and sex, so she transferred it to her friend.(judgemental me).

 I rolled again, picked up my phone and called the only man who sends shrills down my spine, or should I say used to. Good to hear from you he said, we exchanged pleasantries and in no time we were gisting as of old again, I slid in the question in the sweetest way ever and he replied baby I just love to update myself besides to please my dad, he always wanted to have a PhD but he fell in love with my step mum and stopped at first degree only, alas! The woman found another man and dumped the poor man, thank God he met my mum but I still see unfulfilment in his eyes. I smiled gracefully! I got my answer already. Demi was trying to lift his father from his sorrow and also ensuring history doesn't repeat itself.

I resumed back to work a better person, I loved people more and instead of judging them for their actions, I took time to delve into the reason for their misstep. My medical director is one rich workaholic and she hates to spend money goodness!!! Her stinginess is epic, we all wondered why she is so tight-fisted. I got close to her and in one of our conversation, she said her mother died without leaving her children anything concrete and her father did not make light of the issue, she vowed from childhood never to be a spent thrift like her mother... 

Depression is experienced by most people, we just have different ways of handling it, some bring out the best of any situation they are in while most of us decide to dwell on the negatives.. I choose to be joyful at all times. I hangout more often, eat right, my man would definitely locate me, the God that created me knew I would be interested in marriage and not being a nun.

My parents called me to come over one evening, I knew my not telling them my single status would come to light one day. I had less make up on to look sober, to my greatest surprise I met Demi and family there and he apologised, the truth is I was not angry with him but I never thought he would realise he was wrong, his extreme measures on acquiring certificates does not guarantee a better future (chai the power of prayer), we fixed a wedding date immediately and my "Apple crusted chocolate Cherry" slid a beautiful piece down my longest left finger. My heart leaped for Joy!!!!! He truly is my last Bus stop he just wanted to pass another route......❤️

1 comment:

INSTAGRAM SERVICES

  Hey You! I'm proud you are ready to take your Instagram page to the next level and I'm here to hold your hand every step of the wa...